Magazine

Confused mom holding a coffee cup looking at a smartphone screen late at night.

Melanie Martinez Cry Baby: My Late Night Parenting Heart Attack

It was 10:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a pair of sweatpants that had a questionable stain on the left kneeβ€”probably yogurt, possibly paint, I really didn't want to investigateβ€”when my smart speaker decided to traumatize me....

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Mom sitting on living room floor looking tired while toddler walks away

Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby Lyrics & Toddler Drama

The absolute biggest lie the parenting industry ever managed to sell us is that your Spotify Wrapped needs to look like an eighteenth-century Austrian composer's fever dream for your kid to get into a good kindergarten. I was standing in...

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Mom holding baby while looking confused at her phone screen

Navigating The CD Baby Login Confusion And Infant Auditory Rules

I was sitting on my laundry room floor at two in the morning with my oldest, trying to drown out his colic screams by frantically scrolling through my phone. My mom had just texted me, "Bless his heart, just get...

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Baby hands covered in safe sweet potato puree paint on a wipeable mat.

Why I Stopped Forcing Aesthetic Crafts and Let My Kids Make a Mess

Dear Jess from six months ago, I'm writing to you from the future, and you need to drop the organic sweet potato puree, step away from the canvas, and take a deep breath. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor...

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Stressed mom spilling lukewarm coffee in the driver seat of a minivan

Why I Googled the Brooklyn Baby Lyrics in the Minivan Today

Tuesday, 8:14 AM. I'm sitting in the school drop-off line wearing black leggings that haven't actually seen a yoga studio since approximately 2019. There's a crusty white stain on my left knee that I'm aggressively ignoringβ€”it's either toothpaste or yogurt,...

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A toddler doing the baby shark dance in a messy living room

A Letter to My Past Self About Surviving the Baby Shark Dance

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're standing in the kitchen right now. There's a half-eaten piece of toast on the counter and your chai is stone cold. Your sixteen-month-old is in the center of the living room, bouncing at...

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Mom in messy bun holding a baby while dancing to 90s pop music in her living room

The Truth About Singing "...Baby One More Time" To Your Kids

When I brought my oldest son home from the hospital, I was hit with a barrage of unsolicited advice about what he should be listening to that basically made me want to hide under my bed. My mom swore up...

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Exhausted dad holding a sleeping baby wrapped in a bamboo floral blanket while staring at a smartphone screen in a dark room.

Daniel Caesar's Baby Blue Is My Secret 3 AM Infant Sleep Hack

It’s 3:17 AM, and I’m locked in a staring contest with the glowing red ring of my smart speaker, mentally calculating the exact amount of force required to smash it into a thousand pieces. The hyper-chipper, mechanically synthesized xylophone beat...

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Dad looking at phone in dark nursery holding a sleeping baby

How Always Be My Baby Lyrics Fixed My Kid's 2 AM Sleep Bug

It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the Portland rain is actively trying to break my windowpanes, and I'm standing in the exact center of the nursery desperately trying to remember the bridge to a 1996 Mariah Carey pop anthem. My...

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