The Day My Toddler Tried To Steal A Baby Emu At The Local Texas Farm
I was knee-deep in East Texas mud, holding my oldest son by the straps of his denim overalls so he wouldnβt launch himself into a wire fence, while a six-foot-tall dinosaur of a bird stared a hole straight through my...
What the Baby Emmanuel Parents Taught Me About Child Safety
I was wearing Mark's ancient grey fraternity t-shirt with the mysterious bleach stain on the collar, sitting on the edge of the cold porcelain bathtub at 2:14 AM. Leo, my youngest, was going through his extremely fun "I only sleep...
Why we really need to talk about the ugly side of baby headbands
You pull it out of the tissue paper at your baby shower. It's a stiff nylon elastic band attached to a sequined peony the size of a small cabbage. The aunties in the room coo over it, telling you how...
The Messy, Scary Truth About Your Favorite Baby Lounger Pillow
I was sitting cross-legged on my living room rug at three in the morning, aggressively taping up a stack of cardboard boxes for my Etsy shop, when I finally felt my shoulders drop. My oldest son, who was exactly twenty-two...
Dear Past Me: The Ultimate Baby Proofing System for Clueless Dads
Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently feeling pretty smug. Your baby is five months old, mostly stays exactly where you put him, and basically acts like a warm, milk-drunk potato. You look around our Portland apartment and think,...
The brutal truth about sunscreen for babies and summer safety
I'm sitting on the sand at Oak Street Beach with a three-month-old who looks like a poorly powdered donut. The wind is whipping off Lake Michigan. I'm holding a tube of thick white zinc oxide paste, trying to coat my...
The Big Lie About Finding the Best Car Seat (And Surviving the Drive)
It was 98 degrees in a BuyBuyBaby parking lotβRIP to that store, honestly, I spent half my pregnancy wandering those aisles in a dazeβand I was sweating through my gray maternity leggings. You know, the ones from Target that always...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Infant Car Seats
You're currently sitting on the garage floor in your maternity leggings. There's a half-eaten granola bar on the bumper of the Honda, the manual for the convertible seat is open to page forty-two, and you're quietly crying because the little...
Dear Me: Put Down the Flashing Plastic Crap in That Toy Store
Dear Sarah from six months ago, It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. You're currently standing in Aisle 14 of that massive, soul-crushing infant toy store off Interstate 80. You're wearing those black lululemon leggings with the mysterious yogurt stain on...