Magazine

Portland dad scanning baby products with his phone in a retail store aisle

Hacking The System: Why A Walmart Baby Registry Actually Makes Sense

Sitting at my kitchen island at 11 PM, my wife Sarah and I were staring at a beautifully curated, ultra-minimalist single gift list on a boutique website. The screen was filled with $140 organic linen wipe warmers and hand-carved Swedish...

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A toddler in an organic cotton bodysuit looking at a baby chick in a plastic brooder tub.

Surviving Backyard Baby Chicks When You Already Have A Toddler

We were standing in the middle of a farm supply store somewhere in the Illinois suburbs when my husband decided we needed to teach our two-year-old about food sustainability. He was holding a cardboard box that vibrated with high-pitched chirps,...

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A stressed mom holding a coffee mug looking down at the nursery baseboards

Finding a Baby Cockroach in the Nursery (And Not Losing Your Mind)

It was 2:14 AM. I was standing in the middle of Maya's nursery wearing Dave's giant, horribly stained Villanova hoodie from 2008, holding a half-empty bottle of breastmilk that had somehow already gone completely cold. I was practically sleepwalking when...

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A frustrated millennial mom holding a toddler while sitting across from older family members at a dinner table.

Trump Baby Boomers Approval Rating: A Real Parent Survival Guide

Don't try to explain macroeconomic policy to your father-in-law while your toddler is currently trying to shove a fistful of buttered mashed potatoes up his own nose. Just don't do it. I learned this the hard way last Thanksgiving, standing...

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A confused dad tangled in a long piece of soft fabric trying to figure out a baby carrier.

Solly Baby Wrap Setup: A Dad's Guide to Not Dropping the Kid

It was raining, because it's always raining in Portland, and I was standing next to my Subaru holding a screaming eight-pound potato while seventeen feet of buttery soft fabric aggressively soaked up a puddle of dirty rainwater. My wife watched...

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Tired dad sitting on floor holding a flashing plastic toy and a simple wooden ring

Surviving the great baby toy invasion without losing your mind

My mother-in-law arrived on a Tuesday afternoon with a battery-operated plastic farmyard that screamed distorted animal noises at 120 decibels, proudly declaring it highly educational for the twins. The very next day, my heavily bearded friend who lives in Hackney...

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A confused dad looking at a baby monitor while holding a folded baby blanket

What Nobody Tells You About Your Baby's Breath

When we brought Leo home from the hospital eleven months ago, I received exactly three pieces of contradictory advice about his respiratory system within a forty-eight-hour window. My mother told me to hold a tiny compact mirror under his nose...

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A stack of pastel baby shower envelopes scattered across a messy kitchen table

Baby Shower Invitations: The Brutal Truth About Modern Stationery

I'm currently using a dull butter knife to scrape dried, crusty hummus off a piece of 600gsm letterpress cardstock. It's an RSVP card that my two-year-old twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, managed to intercept before I could tally the final...

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A pile of discarded rigid infant sneakers next to a spilled cup of coffee on a rug.

The Truth About Baby Shoes: A Letter To My Clueless Past Self

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the clearance aisle at Nordstrom Rack at like, 2:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing those black leggings with the dried yogurt stain on the left knee, aggressively holding a...

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