Why I Stopped Tracking Baby Development by Week With My Third
It was 3:17 AM, and the harsh blue light from my phone screen was probably blinding my firstborn as I frantically refreshed a developmental tracker app while nursing in our rocking chair. The app was practically screaming at me that...
The Absolute Terror Of Feeding Your Baby Shrimp For The First Time
I was standing over the kitchen sink at exactly 8:14 AM on a Tuesday, wearing sweatpants that definitely had three-day-old oatmeal on the thigh, aggressively staring at a single, grey, frozen crustacean. My husband Mark was hovering over my shoulder...
The 2 AM Meltdown Over A Toddler Shark Birthday Cake
Blue gel food coloring doesn't wash off human skin. It bonds to your cuticles on a cellular level and stays there for a week. I learned this at two in the morning on a Thursday, staring down a very deformed,...
The Real Baby Series of Milestones Nobody Warns You About
It's 6:42 AM and I just deeply punctured my left heel on a plastic high chair the size of a thimble. My oldest daughter, bless her heart, left it right outside the bathroom door where I'd blindly step on it....
Surviving Twins With The Skip Hop Baby Activity Center
My mother-in-law arrived on a rainy Tuesday bearing a gift she had unearthed from the darkest, most spider-infested corners of her loft: a wheeled infant walker from 1996. It was a faded neon monstrosity with the turning radius of a...
The Truth About Unique Gifts For One Year Old Baby Girl
It's currently 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a living room that looks like it was recently ransacked by a gang of very small, incredibly destructive sugar addicts. There's half-chewed wrapping paper stuck to the skirting boards,...
What Age Do Babies Start Crawling? A Tech Dad's Reality Check
I'm lying flat on the cold oak floor of our Portland living room with a digital laser measure, trying to calculate the exact trajectory of my eleven-month-old daughter. She isn't moving toward me. She's pushing herself violently backward like a...
When Should Babies Start Talking? A Real Mom's Messy Timeline
I was sitting cross-legged on my faded floral living room rug, aggressively thrusting a plastic cow at my nine-month-old son, Wyatt, and loudly mouthing the word "MOOO" like a deranged person. He just stared at me, blinking slowly, probably wondering...
Exactly when do you feel baby kick: A very unscientific timeline
If you read the glowing, sepia-toned maternity forums, youβd think the very first time you feel a tiny foot move is a transcendent, magical event accompanied by a soaring acoustic guitar soundtrack. This is a spectacular lie. My wife was...