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Why We Traded Stuffy Showers for the Modern Co-Ed Baby Bash
I'm sitting on a pastel-pink velvet chair in a suburban banquet hall watching my cousin unwrap her nineteenth burp cloth. Someone is measuring her waist with toilet paper while a group of aunts I haven't seen since my wedding stare...
Dear Past Sarah: The Ugly Truth About Glass Baby Bottles
Dear Past Sarah. Yes, you. The one sitting on the kitchen floor at 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday exactly six months ago. Youβre wearing that gray fleece robe where the zipper is permanently stuck halfway down. Youβre drinking Folgers...
The Sweet Potato Meltdown and the Truth About Gerber Baby Food
It's 7:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a bright orange stain on my kitchen ceiling. I don't know the exact trajectory required for a seated eleven-month-old to launch root vegetables vertically, but the physics of it are...
Debugging Infant Water Safety and the Sea Otter Parenting Method
I'm currently losing a wrestling match with a wet, angry noodle on a bench that smells aggressively of bleach. My eleven-month-old son has somehow managed to triple his body weight purely through the physics of being slippery, and the acoustic...
The truth about newborn diapering and blowout prevention
My lowest parenting moment wasn't the endless crying. It was 3:14 in the morning on day four, standing over a changing table, trying to catch a stream of newborn urine with my bare hand while actively realizing I had fastened...
Why I Tossed My Plastic Toys For A Wooden Spielbogen Baby Gym
It was 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room rug nursing a lukewarm coffee while a giant plastic jungle gym flashed neon green lights directly into my six-week-old's eyeballs. The thing was blaring some...
Surviving the Modern Baby Shower: Themes, Rules, and Absurdities
My mother-in-law insisted we needed a hired tea service with crustless cucumber sandwiches, my mate Paul told me to just book the back room at The Crown and put some crisps in a bowl, and an American lifestyle blog I...
Hacking The System: Why A Walmart Baby Registry Actually Makes Sense
Sitting at my kitchen island at 11 PM, my wife Sarah and I were staring at a beautifully curated, ultra-minimalist single gift list on a boutique website. The screen was filled with $140 organic linen wipe warmers and hand-carved Swedish...
Surviving Backyard Baby Chicks When You Already Have A Toddler
We were standing in the middle of a farm supply store somewhere in the Illinois suburbs when my husband decided we needed to teach our two-year-old about food sustainability. He was holding a cardboard box that vibrated with high-pitched chirps,...