My 11-Month-Old Daughter is Basically a 150-Pound Baby Walrus
Itβs 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The glow of my dual monitors is the only light in our Portland living room, casting long, depressing shadows over a floor entirely covered in colorful plastic debris. On the left screen, I've a...
The Truth About the Lydia Plath Baby Rumors & Sibling Roles
Don't ever let your four-year-old think he runs the nursery, and definitely don't believe a single thing you read on the internet at two in the morning. That was the harsh lesson I learned this week while scrolling through my...
Why I Sing Mariah Carey Always Be My Baby At 3 AM For Sleep
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sweating through a gray David Bowie t-shirt that had questionable yellow spit-up crusted on the left shoulder, trying desperately to remember what you're actually supposed to buy if...
How to Write a Brilliant Message For Baby Shower Cards
I'm currently staring at a pastel yellow card featuring a deeply anatomically incorrect stork, my pen hovering over the paper as if I'm diffusing a bomb rather than preparing for my cousin's Saturday afternoon tea party. There's this pervasive, slightly...
The Unfiltered Shift From Mother To Baby: What I Actually Learned
I'm currently staring at a dried crust of spit-up on my left shoulder that has been there since Tuesday, and honestly, I don't have the energy to change my shirt. Iβm bouncing my youngest on my hip while trying to...
Is the Newton Baby Crib Mattress Really Worth Three Hundred Bucks?
My mom told me to put my firstborn on his stomach with a heavy quilt "so he feels secure like he's still in the womb." The lactation consultant at the hospital swore he needed to sleep on my bare chest...
A clueless dad's guide to buying Nike baby shoes and apparel
We're at Washington Park in Portland, and the temperature is exactly 62.4 degrees. The sky has that flat, gray, overcast quality that makes for decent smartphone photos, which is great, because I've dressed my 11-month-old son like a backup dancer...
Why the Nike Swoosh 1 Changed How I Think About Baby Shoes
It was a random Tuesday, maybe 9 AM, and I was wearing leggings that definitely hadnβt been washed since Sunday. I was hovering by the microwave, nursing my third cup of aggressively mediocre dark roast, when my mother-in-law dropped a...
The Nintendo Baby Video Chat Hack That Saved My Postpartum Sanity
It was 3:14 AM, the absolute worst time of the night, and the only light in my Texas living room was the soft, blue glow of my TV screen. My oldest sonβwho I love dearly but who is the ultimate...