The Real Truth About Buying A Graphic Baby Tee Without The Rash
My mom took one look at the retro Snoopy shirt I bought for my third baby and flat-out told me the plastic ink would give him a rash so I should throw it in the trash immediately. My mother-in-law, bless...
Raising A Baby Goth Without Losing Your Mind Or Your Aesthetic
The grand, sweeping myth of alternative parenting is that we're all gliding around dimly lit Victorian manors, raising miniature vampires who only listen to Bauhaus and politely refuse to play with brightly coloured plastic. The depressing reality is that I'm...
Why The Sudden Obsession With Baby Rosalina Threw Me For A Loop
It was exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Thursday, and I was wearing my husband Dave's oversized college sweatshirt which smells faintly of old garlic and desperation, staring completely dead-eyed at our living room TV. Maya, my seven-year-old, was sobbing...
How the Dijon baby album perfectly captures new parent chaos
"Sleep when the baby sleeps," my mom told me over a plate of lukewarm brisket right after my oldest was born, waving her fork around like she'd just delivered the secret to eternal life. Meanwhile, the lactation consultant at the...
So Your Sweet Kid Brought Home A Horrific Joke From Preschool
"Wash his mouth out with Dial soap," my mom texted back immediately after I panic-messaged her from the kitchen floor. My grandma, bless her heart, told me on the phone to just pretend I went completely deaf and ignore it...
Why we sing hello my baby hello my honey at 3 AM to survive
Listen. Don't do what I did last Tuesday night. Don't stand in the dark swaying your screaming infant, realize you only know the chorus to the cartoon frog song, and try to pull up the hello my baby hello my...
The Hudson Meek Baby Driver Tragedy and Car Safety Wake-Up Calls
I was doing about 55 down FM 1431 with my three kids in the back of my Honda Odyssey, singing along to some Disney garbage to keep the peace, when I heard the unmistakable, heavy thunk of a car door...
Why Humphrey the Beanie Baby Is a Hard No for My 11-Month-Old
I'm currently holding a beige, slightly cross-eyed plush camel that smells faintly of an attic and 1996. My mother-in-law just proudly handed it to me across our kitchen island. Apparently, she unearthed this thing from her garage after solving the...
The Honest Parent's Guide to Surviving Carhartt Baby Clothes
It's a freezing Tuesday in November 2018, and I'm standing in the middle of a disgustingly hip baby boutique in Portland, Oregon, wearing yoga pants that haven't seen an actual yoga studio since Obama was in office. I'm clutching a...