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The brutal truth about shopping a baby clearance warehouse sale
The wind off Lake Michigan was whipping my hair into my mouth while I stood in a line wrapping around an industrial park in Skokie. I was six months pregnant, freezing, and holding a lukewarm decaf coffee, waiting for the...
Why your toddler needs real fishing bibs (and not cute raincoats)
There's a very specific, high-pitched intake of breath a two-year-old makes when the icy water pooling on a rented fibreglass boat seat finally breaches her supposedly "weather-resistant" corduroy trousers. Itβs a sound that cuts through the roar of a vintage...
Wann zahnen Babys? Ein Γberlebensbericht fΓΌr ΓΌbermΓΌdete Eltern
Es ist 3:14 Uhr morgens an einem feuchtkalten Londoner Dienstag, und ich stehe mit einer halben, angefrorenen Bio-Karotte in unserer KΓΌche. Meine Tochter β eine HΓ€lfte meines zweijΓ€hrigen Zwillings-Doppelpacks, damals jedoch erst knapp sieben Monate alt β kaut wΓ€hrenddessen nicht...
How to survive the kinderzimmer einrichten phase without losing it
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant when I sat on the bare floor of our second bedroom in Chicago and cried over the smell of a dresser. We had just assembled a suspiciously cheap piece of nursery furniture I bought online....
The Only Realistic Baby Inventory A Panicked Parent Actually Needs
At week 24 of the pregnancy, I made the catastrophic mistake of asking three different people what we needed to buy for our impending human. My mom told me all we needed was love and a massive stack of cloth...
Why My Spreadsheet Strategy For Budget Baby Clothes Completely Failed
At 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was staring at a pivot table I'd built to calculate the exact cost-per-wear of an infant's wardrobe. My son was three months old at the time, and I was treating his closet like...
The Absolute Madness of Putting a White Baby Tee on an Infant
We're twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a civilized Sunday picnic in Regent's Park. I'm holding a lukewarm flat white, desperately trying to project an aura of calm competence. Florence and Matilda, my two-year-old twins, are wearing identical,...
My Desperate Search for "Spielzeug fΓΌr 1 JΓ€hrige" (Toys)
Yesterday at 5:14 AM, I staggered into the living room to grab a burp cloth and stepped directly onto a plastic cow that immediately began mooing "Old MacDonald" in a haunting, battery-depleted baritone. My 11-month-old daughter, sitting in her playpen,...
The Truth About That Huge Women Clothing Sale For Tired Moms
The right wheel of my double UPPAbaby stroller was jammed so hard against the slatted door of fitting room number three that I couldn't pry it open if there was a fire. I was standing there in a local boutique...