Magazine
How to Be a Rich Baby Daddy Without Actually Having Any Money
I'm standing in a painfully well-lit Marylebone baby boutique at eleven in the morning on a Tuesday, holding a Β£400 self-rocking bassinet, while one of my two-year-old twins actively attempts to eat a display shoe. The sales assistant is looking...
A letter to myself before buying real life baby dolls for twins
Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently standing at the kitchen island at 11:42 PM, holding a Stanley knife, staring at a cardboard box that just arrived from a specialty toy retailer. When you slice through that packing tape...
Stop Stressing: A Letter to Myself About Rare Baby Boy Names
You're currently sitting at the kitchen island with a cold, half-empty mug of Folgers, glaring at a yellow legal pad covered in crossed-out words while your two-year-old quietly colors on the baseboards with a stolen Sharpie. I know exactly how...
Dear Past Me: Surviving The Ramsey Baby Steps With Kids
Dear Sarah from last October, It's 11:42 PM on a Tuesday and you're sitting on the sticky kitchen linoleum right in front of the dishwasher. You're wearing those black yoga pants with the dried yogurt stain on the left knee,...
How That Viral 1960s Pretty Little Baby Song Saved My Sanity
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the rocking chair in Leo's nursery was squeaking exactly on the downbeat of my mounting panic. I was wearing a gray nursing tank top that smelled faintly of sour milk and utter...
Troubleshooting The Baby Come Back Phase Without Losing Your Mind
2:14 PM. Portland is doing that misty drizzle thing outside where it's not quite raining but you still get entirely wet. I've stepped exactly 3.4 feet away from the playmat to grab my lukewarm coffee from the side table. I...
The Honest Truth About Play Mats For Babies
I was on my hands and knees with a spray bottle of carpet cleaner, frantically scrubbing neon yellow newborn poop out of our cheap apartment carpeting, while my oldest screamed his absolute head off in a bouncy seat nearby. It...
The Sweaty Reality of Finding a Pink Baby Shower Dress
It was 2:15 PM on a Tuesday in late July, and I was standing in the dressing room of a maternity boutique that smelled aggressively like fake lavender, trying to pry a magenta wrap dress off my sweaty, thirty-two-week pregnant...
The Ping Requests: Why Your Infant Knows When You Grab The Device
It's 3:17 AM here in Portland. The rain is doing that annoying misty thing against the window where it doesn't quite sound like rain, just a low-level static. I've my 11-month-old daughter in my left arm. I've a bottle of...