The Truth About Zara Baby: Sizing, Shrinking, And Alternatives
When I was pregnant with my first, everybody and their mother had an opinion on how to dress a baby. My own mom, bless her heart, dragged me to the department store and loaded my cart with neon orange monkey...
The Baby Registry Amazon Myth That Totally Ruined My Saturday
I was wearing Dave's oversized college sweatpants—the ones with the bleach stain on the left knee that he absolutely refuses to throw away—sitting on our living room rug with my third cup of lukewarm, frankly terrible coffee, just sobbing at...
How the Baby Jessica Rescue Made Me Fear My Own Back Garden
Tuesday morning, 11:14 AM. Florence has somehow managed to wedge her entire left leg into an exposed drainage pipe near the rhododendrons. I'm frozen in the doorway holding a half-empty mug of lukewarm builder's tea, watching my two-year-old attempt to...
How to Say Baby in Spanish When You Are an Exhausted British Dad
Dear Tom from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing barefoot in the kitchen at a quarter to four in the morning, holding a cold piece of toast and aggressively typing into a language app while both girls scream in...
Surviving Baby's First Halloween Without the Scratchy Tears
I was standing in the middle of a damp Texas pumpkin patch in 2019, wrestling my oldest out of a $65 synthetic lion suit while he screamed loud enough to wake the dead. The zipper was stuck in a tuft...
The Baby Cow Confusion: Milk Rules and Adorable Bovine Trends
It was 2018, I was wearing a stained nursing tank that smelled faintly of sour yogurt, and I made the ultimate rookie parenting mistake. Leo was ten months old, we were completely out of his usual formula, and it was...
The Truth About Wearing That Baby Blue Dress
When I was pregnant with Leo, my mother-in-law cornered me in a Target parking lot to inform me that wearing pale blue to my own baby shower would make me look "clinically exhausted." Two hours later, my wedding photographer friend...
Why the Baby Blue Color Is More Than Just a 90s Nursery Cliche
I was standing in the middle of our empty guest room—soon to be the nursery—holding a paint swatch that looked like a depressed smurf. It was 2 AM, I was aggressively caffeinated, and my wife, Sarah, was staring at me...
What a 1980s Movie Taught Me About Dads and Newborns
Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of your Honda Odyssey in a Starbucks parking lot. You're wearing those black Lululemon leggings that have an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left thigh, clutching an iced...