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Suki baby-trenden: Hvad rockstjernerne glemmer at fortælle dig
Jeg stod i Terminal B i DFW-lufthavnen, sveden dryppede ned på min håndbagage, og jeg forsøgte at finde ud af, hvilket af de fjorten plastikspænder på min bæresele der i øjeblikket var ved at bore et hul ind i mine...
Den barske sandhed om at lade din baby hoppe i et plastikbur
Da mit mellemste barn blev fem måneder, slæbte min mor et massivt, farvestrålende monstrum af plastik ind i min stue lige midt under familiemiddagen. Det var et af de der fritstående aktivitetscentre med hop, der optager flere kvadratmeter end min...
Hvorfor 'babyfeen er en skurk'-trenden ødelagde min uge
Jeg fangede min teenageniece i at stikke sin iPad til min toårige under søndagsmiddagen. Skærmen var et hav af pastelpink og viste et lille barn med store øjne, røde kinder og en kjole med flæser. Jeg var træt. Jeg sad...
Hvorfor Boss Baby-filmen er et brutalt præcist medicinsk drama
Det var klokken seks om aftenen. Vinden udenfor rystede aggressivt i vinduesruderne bare for at minde en om, at det var en forfærdelig idé at gå udenfor. Mit lille barn sad på mit knæ og maste systematisk en mariekiks ned...
Sandheden om babyers pludren (og hvad mine i virkeligheden siger)
Jeg har lige nu armene dybt begravet i at udskrive fragtetiketter til min Etsy-shop, mens min yngste, Levi, har hvad der lyder som en meget ophedet politisk debat med loftsventilatoren. Han er seks måneder gammel, har slet ingen bukser på,...
Kl. 3 om natten: Goo Goo Babies Uma Musume og det virkelige liv
iPad'en lyste med en anklagende hårdhed mod det afskallede tapet i vores lejlighed i London, og oplyste en meget specifik form for kl. 3-om-natten-familiehelvede. Lily, den lidt mere temperamentsfulde af mine toårige tvillingepiger, havde netop voldsomt gylpet sin aftenmælk ud...
Derfor stoppede jeg med at tale til min baby som en lille direktør
Der er denne her meget specifikke, let gullige plet på venstre skulder af min vintage Ramones-t-shirt. Jeg købte trøjen i en genbrugsbutik i 2018, dengang jeg havde ting som "fritid" og "rådighedsbeløb", men pletten ankom præcis kl. 03.14 på en...
Akustikken i livmoderen og min bagepladekatastrofe
Lyden mindede om en Ford Taurus, der kørte ind i en bækkenfabrik. Det var bare mig, der tabte seks bageplader i aluminium på køkkengulvet, men i vores stille lejlighed i Portland var chokbølgen voldsomt høj. Vores hund krøb i skjul...
Hvornår begynder baby at pludre? En ærlig mors guide til de første lyde
Jeg svedte mig gennem dagens tredje ammetop i kabinen på min varme bil ude foran det lokale supermarked i midten af juli. Min ældste, Wyatt, var præcis otte uger gammel og sad i sin autostol og kiggede på mig, som...