Magazine

Toddler girl dancing in a living room next to a smartphone playing music

What To Do When "Baby Girl Shake That" Invades Your Nursery

I'm currently watching two identical twenty-four-month-olds attempt what I can only describe as a synchronized club routine in the middle of our kitchen. Twin A is dropping into a deeply concerning squat, while Twin B is executing a rhythmic shoulder...

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Dad holding a baby girl in a yellow organic cotton bodysuit on a porch

Debugging My Baby Girl's First Halloween Costume Disaster

I was standing in the driveway, sweating through my flannel, trying to solve a geometry problem that shouldn't exist. It was 52 degrees in Portland, a classic damp October morning, but my internal CPU was overheating because I couldn't get...

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A very tired mom drinking coffee while staring at unassembled baby gear on a living room rug.

The Absolute Mess Of Buying Baby Gear (And What Actually Works)

It was 2017. November. A Tuesday, I think, and raining completely sideways. I was exactly thirty-two weeks pregnant with Maya, my second kid, and I was sitting completely cross-legged on the cold linoleum floor of aisle four at BuyBuyBaby (RIP...

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Pediatric nurse mom showing realistic baby gas relief techniques.

The 3 AM pediatric nurse guide to surviving baby gas relief

The radiator is hissing in our Chicago apartment and my phone says it's 3:14 in the morning. My infant son is currently executing a flawless crunchy-frog maneuver on the changing table. His knees are pinned tight to his chest. His...

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Tired mother holding her January newborn in a dark nursery

January Newborn Survival: Forget the Baby Garnet Birthstone Myths

It's three in the morning and you're holding a screaming two-week-old in a freezing, dark room. You type something stupid into your phone because you're desperately trying to figure out if your January newborn's stubbornness is astrological. You search for...

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A mom looking out a window at her backyard while holding a coffee mug

The Absolute Panic Of Finding Cute Baby Foxes In Your Backyard

I was standing on our back patio in my husband's hideous oversized college sweatpants, holding a lukewarm mug of French roast that I had literally just microwaved for the third time, when seven-year-old Maya started screaming bloody murder. She was...

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Tired mom holding a baby bottle looking stressed in her kitchen

My Messy, Caffeinated Guide to Decoding Infant Nutrition

It was November 2017 and I was wearing my husband Mark’s oversized college sweatpants—the ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that he refuses to throw away—sitting completely paralyzed on our cold kitchen linoleum at 3:15 AM while...

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A bright neon baby pool float sitting on the edge of a backyard swimming pool in Texas.

Dear Past Jess: What I Wish I Knew Before Buying a Baby Pool Float

Dear Jess from last May, I know you're currently hyperventilating beside the inflatable kiddie pool, tasting cheap PVC plastic because you lost the air pump again, while Jackson—our lovely, feral four-year-old—is threatening to launch himself off the patio furniture into...

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Tired dad looking at baby's gums with a small silicone teether

Decoding Baby First Tooth Symptoms: A Late-Night Debugging Guide

Dear Marcus circa six months ago: It's currently 2:14 AM, you're holding a glowing digital thermometer like a tricorder, and you're staring into the mouth of a very angry tiny human. You're convinced her entire operating system is crashing. You're...

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