Magazine
Why I Finally Put My Kid in Vintage Shirts (And Didn't Panic)
I was standing in the middle of our living room holding a 1993 Soundgarden tour tee with a pair of silicone kitchen tongs. My wife, Sarah, was watching me from the hallway with the exact same expression she uses when...
Dear Past Jess: The Truth About Chasing That Pampers Rebate
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting cross-legged on the rug in the living room, surrounded by three massive, empty cardboard boxes from HEB. Your toddler is currently using a...
The Truth About the Country Baby Tee Trend for Actual Babies
Halfway through trying to pull a stiff, mustard-yellow flannel over my six-month-old's head, I heard a seam pop. He was turning a concerning shade of magenta. His arms were pinned awkwardly against his ears, trapping him in a sort of...
The Absolute Nightmare of Buying Toddler Khaki Shorts
I was sweating through three layers of sage green bridesmaid tulle in a 104-degree Texas July, standing inside a rented porta-potty that smelled exactly as bad as you're imagining, frantically trying to unfasten a button the size of a baby...
Why Most Toddler Khaki Shorts Belong Straight In The Garbage
Three different people gave me completely conflicting instructions about dressing my kid for my cousin's outdoor wedding last summer. My mother-in-law cornered me at the mehndi to declare that a proper beta needs stiff, pleated trousers to look respectable in...
Lätzchen Frottee: A letter to my past self about solid foods
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor wiping sweet potato puree off the baseboards with a dried-out baby wipe while your son cries because he rubbed it into his left eyebrow. You think this...
Must-Have Babyzimmer Essentials (Minus the Pinterest BS)
I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of our spare bedroom at 2 AM, eight months pregnant with Leo, aggressively weeping into a half-assembled IKEA dresser. I was wearing one of my husband Dave’s old college hoodies that smelled faintly...
The Messy Reality of Children's Neckerchiefs
My mother-in-law stood in my Chicago kitchen last November holding a knitted wool scarf, insisting that if I didn't wrap my son's neck immediately, the draft would settle in his chest and give him pneumonia. Three hours later, a woman...
Wie groß ist eine babydecke? My British Dad Blanket Survival
The rain in the Tesco car park was coming down in that aggressively horizontal British way, and I was losing a wrestling match with a piece of fabric. Twin A (the escape artist) was arching her back in the pram,...