What On Earth Is A Skilla Baby? Sorting Out Real Milestone Myths
Three different people gave me completely contradictory advice about raising a baby in the exact same twenty-four-hour period after I brought my oldest son, Leo, home from the hospital seven years ago. My mother-in-law, standing in my cramped kitchen wearing...
How to keep your lil baby alive without losing your entire mind
Listen, I spent my first two weeks as a mother doing everything exactly wrong. It was three in the morning, and I was bouncing violently on a yoga ball, aggressively shushing while balancing my phone on my shoulder to play...
Debugging the baby shark phase: Viral videos and double teeth
Don't ever assume an algorithm knows how to soothe your kid better than you do. I learned this the hard way at a coffee shop on Hawthorne last Tuesday, thinking a quick blast of YouTube would act as a temporary...
Debugging the Strick Baby: How We Fixed Our Fussy Trick Baby
The clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM, glowing in that menacing green font that just mocks your life choices. My son, who during the day usually resembles a slightly drunk, happy old man, was currently arched backward in my...
Die absolut ehrliche Antwort auf: Welche Zahnbürste für Babys
Der Kiefer meines Sohnes hat die Schließkraft eines kleinen Alligators. Das wurde mir an einem Dienstagmorgen klar, als ich versuchte, eine sehr ästhetische, beige Bambuszahnbürste aus seinem Mund zu hebeln. Ich wollte ein durchgestyltes, nachhaltiges Badezimmer. Er wollte auf dem...
Why our pediatrician vetoed the freezer and pushed a beissring holz
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in front of the open freezer in my boxers, holding a bright blue plastic hippo filled with mystery gel. Our eleven-month-old son was in the other room, screaming like...
The Chicken Bone Incident: Unpacking the Food Teethers Trend
I'm staring at my son, who's currently aggressively making out with a stripped chicken drumstick bone. My wife, Sarah, handed it to him exactly four minutes ago. I'm hovering three inches away, sweat pooling in the collar of my Portland...
The newborn rattle timeline from potato stage to blunt force trauma
I was standing in the kitchen at 4am, holding a plastic object that resembled a neon torture device, trying to work out why my three-week-old daughters were actively ignoring it. It was a Tuesday. Or possibly a Thursday. Time becomes...
Dear Marcus: Stop Buying Loud Plastic Toys and Read This
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the dark hallway of your Portland bungalow, clutching a lukewarm bottle of formula, staring at a flashing plastic boombox toy that's aggressively singing "I'M...