Expectation vs Reality: Montessori Toys for Nine Month Old Twins
There I was, at 6:42 am on a Tuesday, trying to fish a soggy, half-dissolved piece of Amazon packaging out of Maya's mouth while her sister, Chloe, methodically used a £45 plastic, battery-powered farm animal as a blunt instrument to...
The Brutal Truth About the Kinderkleiderbörse Bern Scene
The absolute biggest, most ridiculous lie Instagram tries to sell us is that to be a "good" mother, your baby needs a closet overflowing with pristine, tags-still-on aesthetic outfits in fifty shades of sad beige. I used to believe that...
Why I Finally Put My Kid in Vintage Shirts (And Didn't Panic)
I was standing in the middle of our living room holding a 1993 Soundgarden tour tee with a pair of silicone kitchen tongs. My wife, Sarah, was watching me from the hallway with the exact same expression she uses when...
Dear Past Jess: The Truth About Chasing That Pampers Rebate
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting cross-legged on the rug in the living room, surrounded by three massive, empty cardboard boxes from HEB. Your toddler is currently using a...
Wie groß ist eine babydecke? My British Dad Blanket Survival
The rain in the Tesco car park was coming down in that aggressively horizontal British way, and I was losing a wrestling match with a piece of fabric. Twin A (the escape artist) was arching her back in the pram,...
The soapy nightmare that led us to stainless steel toddler plates
Tuesday night, 6:43 PM. Kabir had just aggressively rejected a batch of organic mac and cheese that I spent twenty minutes hiding pureed cauliflower inside. I was standing over the kitchen sink, eating the lukewarm leftovers directly off his favorite...
The Truth About Newborn Holiday Clothes (And Velvet Disasters)
It was Thanksgiving 2017 and Maya was exactly two months old. I had spent forty-five dollars at a big box store on this tiny, stiff, maroon velvet dress with a metallic gold Peter Pan collar because I was a first-time...
The medical reality of organic cotton baby socks for infants
The day we brought my son home from the hospital, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory mandates about his feet. My mother, wielding her generational aunty logic, informed me that exposing his bare toes to the Chicago autumn would invite...
The Great Silicone Panic and What Goes In My Twins' Mouths
I was standing in the middle of our cramped London kitchen, clutching a mint green weaning spoon, when the conflicting advice reached a deafening crescendo. My mother-in-law had just confidently declared over FaceTime that anything squishy was inherently toxic and...