The Great Baby Carrot Freakout And How We Actually Survived It
I was standing in my kitchen at exactly 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I know the exact time because that's the precise moment my soul usually leaves my body every afternoon. I was wearing my husband Dave's gray college sweatpants...
Why I Replaced Sunday Pancakes With a Giant Puffy Dutch Baby
Let's start with a snapshot of my kitchen at 6:15 AM last Saturday. I'm standing over a hot stove with a spatula, trying to flip a silver-dollar pancake made of mashed bananas and oats. Meanwhile, my 11-month-old is wrapped tightly...
Troubleshooting Baby Potatoes: Air Fryers, Skins & Starch
I was wrist-deep in my eleven-month-old’s mouth, desperately trying to scrape a wet, glued-on piece of potato skin off his hard palate while he shrieked like a dial-up modem. My wife, carrying a laundry basket, froze in the doorway, took...
How A Sugar Baby Watermelon Defeated Me And My Twin Toddlers
If you ever find yourself wondering whether a standard kitchen sponge is abrasive enough to remove dried fruit pulp from a matte-painted wall, let me save you a frantic Google search. It isn't. You need a dedicated scraper and a...
Why Baby Bellas Are Just Portobellos in Denial (And Perfect for Bab...
I was standing in the vegetable aisle at Sainsbury’s, a twin balanced on each hip, desperately trying to distinguish between a punnet of white mushrooms, baby bellas, and portobellos. That's when I learned the great agricultural lie of our generation:...
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The Greasy, Panicked Truth About Infants and Bone Marrow
It was 6:45 in the morning and my kitchen smelled like a steakhouse that had just caught fire. I was standing over my stove in a nursing bra that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since Tuesday, staring...
The peanut butter baby protocol: Debugging a first allergen
Flashback to a misty Portland Tuesday about six months ago. My wife Sarah was in the other room on a muted Zoom call, and I was standing in the kitchen staring at a nine-dollar jar of organic, single-ingredient peanut butter...
Why The Whole Infant Octopus Trend Almost Broke My Mama Sanity
I was standing at my kitchen island at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, poking a slick, purple tentacle with a pair of tongs, questioning every life choice that had led me to this moment. My oldest son, Liam, was fourteen...
The Great Puree Panic: Confessions From A Splattered Kitchen
There's currently a perfectly symmetrical, brilliantly orange splatter of sweet potato puree cooling on my left eyelid. It's Sunday at four in the afternoon, the sky over London has already surrendered to that bleak, bruised-plum colour of mid-winter, and I'm...