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A letter to past me about teething jewellery for mums
Dear Marcus of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug at 3:14 AM. The thermostat is set to exactly 68.5 degrees. Sarah is attempting to nurse the baby, actively wincing because a tiny, razor-sharp fingernail is...
Dear Past Priya: What I Wish I Knew About Teething
You're standing in the kitchen right now. It's 3:17 in the morning. Your favorite gray t-shirt is soaked in an alarming amount of drool, and you're aggressively scrolling through your phone with one thumb while bouncing a screaming six-month-old on...
A teething necklace for mom saved my sanity and my shirts
It was a Tuesday in early November. I was sitting in the corner booth at Red Roasters wearing a ridiculous emerald green silk blouse that I had absolutely no business wearing to a coffee shop with a six-month-old. Maya was...
The Messy, Soap-Tasting Truth About Choosing The Right Baby Bowls
Before I even bought a highchair for Leo, three different people gave me completely contradicting advice about feeding him. My mother-in-law cornered me in my own kitchen to say that plates were a waste of money and I should just...
The Engineering of Bib Safety and Dishwasher Survival Protocols
My mother-in-law told me to just tie a cloth napkin around his neck because "that's what we did in the eighties." A guy on the r/daddit subreddit swore by stripping his kid down to a diaper and hosing him off...
Dear Past Me: The Honest Truth About Surviving With Baby Teethers
Dear Jess from October. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3 AM in an oversized, spit-up covered baby tee, staring into the harsh fluorescent light of the open refrigerator. The baby is screaming loud enough to wake the dead,...
Babys zahnen: Oh Gott, mein ehrlicher Zahnungs-Survival-Guide
Es war exakt 3:14 Uhr morgens an einem Dienstag, ich trug ein verwaschenes College-Shirt, auf dem ein nicht identifizierbarer Fleck von Mayas gestrigem Haferbrei klebte, und Leo brüllte, als hätte ich ihm gerade eröffnet, dass es nie wieder Milch gibt....
Why your baby hates every teething toy you buy
My mother-in-law casually suggested rubbing whiskey on my daughter's gums. The neighborhood mom-group admin swore by a thirty-dollar raw Baltic amber necklace that apparently possesses magical anti-swollen properties. My old charge nurse at the hospital just shrugged, told me to...
The Great Puree Illusion: My Humbling Education in Infant Spoons
The ceiling of my kitchen in Zone 3 currently sports a rather avant-garde splatter of pureed butternut squash, perfectly preserved from last Tuesday when I attempted to feed the twins simultaneously. Maya, deciding she was finished with her lunch, performed...