The Unvarnished Truth About Buying Clothes For Your Tiny Human
My mother stood in our hallway on a mild Tuesday in October, clutching an aggressively knitted yellow cardigan and informing me that my newborn twins were minutes away from clinical hypothermia. Twenty minutes later, the NHS health visitor arrived, took...
How To Hunt Down Every Good Angebot Pampers Without Going Crazy
I'm currently staring at a giant cardboard box of size 2 diapers sitting in my garage that I bought in a sleep-deprived haze because the neon yellow sign at H-E-B told me it was a mega savings event. Spoiler alert:...
Before & After: My Take on Spielzeug ab 2 Jahren for Toddlers
I was standing in the kitchen at 6:45 AM, holding a battery-operated plastic dump truck over the trash can like a priest performing an exorcism. My oldest was two at the time, and this truck had been singing the exact...
The Truth About Designer Infant Clothes and Scratchy Tulle
I was sweating straight through my postpartum mesh underwear in the back seat of a Ford F-150 somewhere on Highway 290, frantically trying to unfasten fourteen microscopic pearl buttons while my three-day-old newborn screamed like a banshee. It's funny how...
The evolutionary trap of extremely cute babies and the first year
It's 3:14 AM, and I'm staring at a glowing night-vision screen on my phone. My 11-month-old is doing that weird frog-leg stretch in his crib, completely dead to the world, and I'm just watching his chest rise and fall to...
The Messy Truth About Why We Finally Switched To Silicone Bibs
Let me paint a picture for you. It’s a random Tuesday in November 2017. Maya is six months old, and we're embarking on the mystical, terrifying journey of Baby-Led Weaning. I'm sitting on my kitchen floor at 2 PM wearing...
Dear Past Marcus: The Skianzug Kinder Survival Guide I Wish I Had
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, currently staring blindly at a wall of synthetic winter gear at the REI in the Pearl District while Sarah texts you asking if you've found anything waterproof yet. I'm writing to you from...
The truth about high-end baby presents and what parents want
The water in my bathroom sink was turning a very specific shade of neon yellow. It was three in the morning, my son Rohan was screaming from his bassinet with the raw, desperate lung capacity of a code blue patient,...
The brutal truth about teething and surviving the midnight drool
My mother-in-law told me to rub raw honey on his swollen gums, completely ignoring the botulism risk. A mom at music class swore her infant popped four incisors overnight with zero tears because she rubbed expensive vanilla extract on his...