The Tomodachi Life Save Editor Panic: Hacking for Virtual Babies
It was exactly 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a target-brand fleece robe that has an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left pocket (yogurt? toothpaste? honestly I don't want to know), pouring my...
How Much to Actually Spend on a Baby Shower Gift (Without Going Broke)
I was standing in the middle of aisle 14 at Target, wearing these black Lululemons that had a very distinct, very suspicious bleach spot right on the left thigh, staring at my phone until my vision went blurry. It was...
Hitchhiker Baby Name 4pk: A 3 AM Naming Meltdown
It was 3:17 AM. I was wearing my husband's faded college sweatpants that had a mysterious, vaguely crusty yogurt stain on the left knee because doing laundry at seven months pregnant felt like an Olympic sport I had not trained...
Why Dijon’s Baby Album Saved My Sanity (And Vinyl Almost Didn't)
It was 3:14 am on a Tuesday, and it was raining that very specific, miserable type of London rain that seems to fall horizontally. Twin A was screaming because her socks were on, and Twin B was screaming because Twin...
University of South Alabama Baby Babysitter Program Truths
When I needed to leave my kid for the first time, my mother-in-law told me to just find a neighborhood girl and pay her five dollars an hour because she survived that exact scenario in the eighties. A week later,...
Perky baby what we finna do: A late-night letter to my past self
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the edge of the glider at 2:13 AM, wearing that oversized faded tee with the spit-up stain on the shoulder, staring at your third...
My Brutally Honest Take on a Moses Basket for Baby
The heater in our third-floor Chicago walk-up clanked three times before kicking on, masking the sound of my own shallow breathing. We had just walked through the front door after three days at Rush University Medical Center. My husband dropped...
Surviving That Marry Me Let's Have A Baby Hentai Search Fail
When Dave and I were first throwing around the idea of expanding our family, the unsolicited advice started raining down like confetti at a toddler's birthday party. My mother-in-law cornered me by the dip at Thanksgiving and actually whispered into...
Survival Guide for the Man Who Might Be Installing a Baby Gate
My dad told me to just let the kid tumble down the bottom two steps to teach him basic physics. The guy in the orange apron at the hardware store tried to up-sell me a three-hundred-dollar industrial lock system that...