What the Gracie Abrams Nepo Baby Drama Taught Me About Parenting
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Subaru in the Target parking lot at roughly 4:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing gray sweatpants that had an unidentified—and honestly, highly suspicious—stain on the left knee. It was like 84...
How Tall Is Lil Baby: Growth Charts And Late Night Googling
It's 3 AM in Chicago. The radiator in my pre-war apartment is clanking like a percussion section, the snow is piling up against the window, and my kid has been cluster feeding for what feels like three consecutive lunar cycles....
The Hudson Meek Baby Driver Tragedy and Car Safety Wake-Up Calls
I was doing about 55 down FM 1431 with my three kids in the back of my Honda Odyssey, singing along to some Disney garbage to keep the peace, when I heard the unmistakable, heavy thunk of a car door...
Hydrocephalus Baby: The 2 AM ER Trip That Changed Our Entire Lives
I remember the exact hum of the vending machine in the Lubbock pediatric ER. It was somewhere around three in the morning. I hadn't washed my hair in four days, I was wearing leggings permanently covered in lint from packing...
Decoding cry baby lyrics while holding an actual screaming infant
My mother-in-law told me to just put him in the crib and shut the door because crying builds lung capacity, which is anatomically hilarious and factually incorrect. My lactation consultant said I should offer the breast the second his lower...
Why we panic over California Baby and 3 AM skin rashes
Three in the morning on a Tuesday in January. The radiator in my Chicago apartment is clanking like an asthmatic tractor. My toddler is doing the dreaded scratch-dance against the crib rails, sounding like someone dragging sandpaper across a chalkboard....
The 2 AM Malware Alert That Changed How I Look at Baby Toys
It's exactly 2:14 AM. My 11-month-old daughter is running a mild teething temperature of 99.4 degrees, and I'm currently locked out of my own home Wi-Fi because our firewall triggered a hard quarantine. I’m sitting on the living room floor...
My history with johnson and johnson baby oil and the pink bottle
Listen. I was standing in my cramped Chicago bathroom holding a naked, freshly bathed three-month-old who was entirely coated in johnson and johnson baby oil. He was thrashing like a freshly caught salmon. I had absolutely zero grip. My mother...
Why trendy baby's breath is actually a nursery nightmare
I was standing by the dessert table at my sister-in-law's aggressively rustic baby shower in Evanston when I watched my toddler make a dead sprint for the floor-length floral garland. Before I could even put down my lukewarm tea, he...