Late Night Monitor Glitches and the Truth About Ghost Babies
My mother-in-law told me to burn sage and recite a specific prayer in the corners of the room because the house was clearly occupied. My old charge nurse from the pediatric ward texted back at three in the morning to...
The Elektrische Zahnbürste Kinder Guide: What Actually Works
At 7:14 PM last Tuesday, I was pinning my 11-month-old to the bath mat in a gentle, modified jiu-jitsu hold while a neon-green vibrating brush whirred aggressively against my left nostril. He was laughing. I was sweating. The toothpaste had...
When the Alex Vesia News Hits Your 3 AM Dad-Brain Anxiety Spiral
It was exactly 3:14 AM. The Portland rain was aggressively pelting our bedroom window, sounding like someone dropping gravel on a tin roof, and I was lying frozen under the duvet. My 11-month-old son was in the nursery next door...
Why I Replaced Sunday Pancakes With a Giant Puffy Dutch Baby
Let's start with a snapshot of my kitchen at 6:15 AM last Saturday. I'm standing over a hot stove with a spatula, trying to flip a silver-dollar pancake made of mashed bananas and oats. Meanwhile, my 11-month-old is wrapped tightly...
The Truth About Baby Fat and When to Actually Worry
I was standing in the checkout line at HEB last Tuesday, balancing a pack of diapers on my hip and praying my debit card wouldn't decline, when the cashier zeroed in on my youngest. "Oh my goodness, look at those...
What The Gypsy Rose Baby Taught Me About Generational Trauma
It’s 3:14 AM. I’m sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor wearing Dave’s gross college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a sleeping Leo who currently feels like a thirty-pound sack of wet...
The NutriBullet Baby Review: A Dad's Solid Food Data Log
My mother-in-law told me I just needed to mash a banana with a fork. My lead developer pinged me on Slack to say we absolutely needed a $250 European baby food maker that somehow syncs to a smartphone. Meanwhile, an...
Letter to Past Me: That Sorry Baby Movie Is Definitely Not A Comedy
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded living room rug in your yoga pants, elbow-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, staring blindly at the streaming menu. Your oldest is trying to feed his...
Why The Modern Baby-Sitters Club Reboot Is Actually Good
Sitting on my sofa last weekend, I made a critical error in judgment. I queued up the baby-sitters club 1995 movie for my ten-year-old niece, Maya, expecting a beautiful bonding moment over vintage denim and childhood innocence. Don't do this....