Magazine

Exhausted mom attempting to tie a long fabric baby sling while holding a crying infant in a messy kitchen.

Why My Humiliating First Attempt At A Baby Sling Made Me Cry

It was exactly 4:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing barefoot on the cold kitchen linoleum, sobbing quietly while trying to maneuver twenty feet of stretchy grey fabric around my torso. Maya was exactly three weeks old, screaming...

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A heavily scrutinised spread of baby shower food on a buffet table.

How to Serve Baby Shower Food Without Poisoning the Mother

There's a pervasive, Pinterest-fueled lie that catering a baby shower is an exercise in elegant pastel minimalism involving delicate cucumber sandwiches and unbothered women laughing in sunlit rooms. It's actually a high-stakes hostage negotiation with bacteria where one wrong slice...

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A partially unwrapped chocolate peanut nougat candy bar next to a toddler silicone bib.

Dear Me: The Truth About Giving A Baby Ruth Candy Bar To A Toddler

October 31st, 11:30 PM. The kid is finally asleep. You're sitting on the living room floor surrounded by a mountain of plastic pumpkin loot. You unwrap a baby ruth candy bar. You look at it. You think about how your...

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A confused dad looking at his phone while an 11-month-old baby plays on a wooden gym.

The Baby Ruth Conundrum: Candy Hazards & Expert Parenting Truths

Last Tuesday, my mother casually suggested I rub some whiskey on my 11-month-old's swollen gums and hand him a chunk of a baby ruth candy bar to chew on while I made dinner. Two hours later, my neighbor—a veteran dad...

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Exhausted mom staring anxiously at a baby rocker in a messy kitchen

Why I Stopped Trusting the Box My Baby Rocking Chair Came In

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was standing in my dark kitchen wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively like sour milk and Dave’s oversized college sweatpants, staring at this beige, gently vibrating infant seat...

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Clueless dad holding a baby while looking confused at a smartphone screen.

Wait, How Old is Baby Gronk? (And Other Parenting Anxieties)

My wife caught me measuring the exact distance between our coffee table and the dog bed with a laser tape measure while our 11-month-old gnawed enthusiastically on a rogue piece of cardboard he'd found behind the router. "I'm setting up...

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A stressed dad looking at a clock while holding a fussy baby who hasn't pooped in three days.

How To Relieve Constipation In Babies Quickly (Without Panicking)

Dear Tom of eighteen months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM, illuminated only by the aggressive LED glow of the microwave clock, holding a completely rigid infant. Maya’s face is the exact shade of a Royal...

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Exhausted father sitting in a dimly lit nursery looking defeated while holding a baby

What the Megan Fox baby tells us about surviving your late thirties

When my wife fell pregnant with our twins, her aunt cornered me at a family dinner to insist we buy a wipe-warmer because cold wet wipes supposedly cause long-term emotional damage. The very next day, my mate Ian—who has three...

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A tired dad holding a swaddled newborn while staring at a birth plan

The Megan Love Is Blind Baby: What I Learned About Birth Plans

I was sitting in the dark at precisely 3:17am, trying to scrape a fossilised bit of Weetabix off my left sock without turning on the lamp, when I saw the news. My phone screen lit up with a notification about...

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