Magazine

A bewildered dad staring at a massive list of baby registry items

Surviving the Buy Buy Baby Registry (And Other Twin Tales)

It was a Tuesday evening, somewhere around week nineteen of the twin pregnancy, and I was staring at my iPad with the kind of mounting dread usually reserved for unexpected tax bills. My wife had just handed me the tablet,...

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Exhausted dad holding two baby sleepsuits looking hopelessly confused

The 3AM Zipper Panic and Finding the Perfect Baby Schlafanzug

It's 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday in late November, and I'm sitting in total darkness on the floor of the nursery trying to match up what feels like forty-seven tiny metal poppers on a sleepsuit while Twin A...

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Stressed mom drinking coffee looking at a pile of baby clothes

Was ziehe ich meinem baby an? A very tired mom's clothing guide

It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in front of the hallway thermostat wearing Dave’s stained Ohio State college hoodie, holding a screaming seven-week-old Maya. The digital display said 71 degrees. I was sweating. Maya was sweating, mostly because...

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Toddler clothes scattered across a wooden nursery floor

Dear past Priya: The unapologetic guide to kinder kleider

You're currently pinned to the nursery floor. Your toddler is starfish-spread across the rug, screaming because his green pants feel too spicy today. You're sweating through your scrub top, twenty minutes late for your shift at Rush, staring at a...

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A dad holding an 11-month-old baby dressed in layered organic winter clothes.

Debugging Baby Winter Temperature: A Dad’s Layering Logic

We were twenty-two minutes into the deployment phase of leaving the house, standing in our freezing Portland driveway, when the entire system crashed. I had just spent a quarter of an hour wrestling my 11-month-old son into a heavily insulated,...

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Toddler girl wearing organic cotton pants crawling over gravel without scraping her knees

Why I Exclusively Buy Boys Cargo Pants for My Feral Twin Girls

My mother cheerfully informed me that little girls should be dressed exclusively in floral smocked dresses, which is a lovely sentiment if your children sit perfectly still on a velvet cushion playing the harp. My extremely intense NCT group leader...

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A desperately tired dad holding two crying twin baby girls

The baby shower gifts exhausted parents actually want

We were sitting in our ground-floor flat in Zone 3, staring at a six-foot-tall synthetic velvet giraffe named Barnaby that my wife's great-aunt Susan had just proudly manhandled through our incredibly narrow hallway. Barnaby didn't do anything. He didn't hold...

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Toddler wearing a neutral organic bodysuit representing nachhaltige mode

Why your baby skin actually needs nachhaltige mode to heal

Don't buy the fifteen-dollar dinosaur onesie multipack from that targeted midnight social media ad. I know it looks like a steal when you're nursing at three in the morning and your impulse control is completely shot. I did exactly this...

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Exhausted dad staring blankly at a wall of strollers in a local baby boutique

The "Baby Store Near Me" Trap: A Father's Reconnaissance Guide

I'm standing under fluorescent lights that could illuminate a surgical theatre, sweating through my jumper while a nineteen-year-old named Brayden earnestly explains the shock absorption capabilities of a £1,200 double pram. One of the twins is currently trying to eat...

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