Why we need to talk about the swaddle escape pipeline
I was sitting on the floor of Kabir's nursery at three in the morning, watching him practice his newly acquired rolling skills like a tiny, aggressive burrito. He was still in his swaddle, thrashing his legs up and slamming them...
The truth about ropa de bebe: surviving the newborn clothing chaos
I was standing in the sweltering heat outside a CVS in South Beach, wearing a linen jumpsuit that was rapidly absorbing a frankly alarming amount of breastmilk, while holding a naked, screaming six-week-old Leo who had just orchestrated a diaper...
My 3AM Twin Panic Buying Spree and a gutschein für babymarkt
It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a digital shopping basket containing roughly nine hundred quid worth of German-engineered infant transport equipment. Maya is asleep on my left forearm, emitting a slow, steady stream of drool that's...
The Actually Useful Infant Essentials List for Pragmatic Parents
I was sitting on our living room rug surrounded by forty-seven pounds of cardboard packaging, holding a wipe warmer that apparently needed to be plugged into an outlet at all times, when I realized the baby registry industrial complex is...
A Letter to My Past Self About Finding the Best Baby Shampoo
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently kneeling on a folded towel in our drafty Portland bathroom, gripping a screaming, soapy five-month-old who currently possesses the exact friction coefficient of a greased watermelon. You have sud-splatter on your glasses,...
Finding the Best Infant Face Cream (A Letter to Past Me)
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot in your Subaru. It's raining. You have a lukewarm vanilla latte in the cup holder that you forgot to drink because you were too busy...
Brutally honest gifts for babies that parents actually want
I was sitting at a baby shower in Naperville last weekend when they brought out the main event. A massive, cellophane-wrapped basket towering with newborn-sized denim jackets, stiff canvas shoes that looked like tiny torture devices, and a neon plastic...
The Unvarnished Truth About Buying Clothes For Your Tiny Human
My mother stood in our hallway on a mild Tuesday in October, clutching an aggressively knitted yellow cardigan and informing me that my newborn twins were minutes away from clinical hypothermia. Twenty minutes later, the NHS health visitor arrived, took...
How To Hunt Down Every Good Angebot Pampers Without Going Crazy
I'm currently staring at a giant cardboard box of size 2 diapers sitting in my garage that I bought in a sleep-deprived haze because the neon yellow sign at H-E-B told me it was a mega savings event. Spoiler alert:...