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Why Finding the Perfect Baby Girl Song Actually Broke My Brain
It was 3:14 AM on a damp Tuesday in November, and the blue light from my phone was practically searing my corneas. I was sitting on the edge of the gray nursery glider—the one I insisted we needed because Pinterest...
Realistic baby girl shower ideas that will not exhaust the mother
I was 33 weeks pregnant, ankles looking like over-proofed dough, trapped on a wicker throne in my aunt's living room. Thirty women were staring at me while my cousin measured my abdomen with two-ply toilet paper. Every masi in a...
My Messy, Caffeinated Guide to Decoding Infant Nutrition
It was November 2017 and I was wearing my husband Mark’s oversized college sweatpants—the ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that he refuses to throw away—sitting completely paralyzed on our cold kitchen linoleum at 3:15 AM while...
Dear Past Jess: What I Wish I Knew Before Buying a Baby Pool Float
Dear Jess from last May, I know you're currently hyperventilating beside the inflatable kiddie pool, tasting cheap PVC plastic because you lost the air pump again, while Jackson—our lovely, feral four-year-old—is threatening to launch himself off the patio furniture into...
From Sterile Nurse to Farm Baby Mama: Why I Let My Kid Eat Dirt
I'm sitting on a slightly damp bench in Lincoln Park watching my fourteen-month-old son actively consume a handful of topsoil. He pauses to chew, looks thoughtfully at a passing golden retriever, and goes back for seconds. A year ago, I'd...
The Day My Toddler Tried To Steal A Baby Emu At The Local Texas Farm
I was knee-deep in East Texas mud, holding my oldest son by the straps of his denim overalls so he wouldn’t launch himself into a wire fence, while a six-foot-tall dinosaur of a bird stared a hole straight through my...
What the Baby Emmanuel Parents Taught Me About Child Safety
I was wearing Mark's ancient grey fraternity t-shirt with the mysterious bleach stain on the collar, sitting on the edge of the cold porcelain bathtub at 2:14 AM. Leo, my youngest, was going through his extremely fun "I only sleep...
The Messy, Exhausting Truth About What It Takes To Adopt A Baby
I was sitting on the cold hexagonal bathroom tiles at 2:14 AM. The laptop was actually burning my thighs through Dave's gray Villanova sweatpants—the ones with the weird bleach stain on the knee from 2018. I had consumed three cups...
The Messy Truth About Acid Reflux In Babies: A Survival Guide
Dear Sarah of seven years ago, You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor in your husband’s gray college hoodie. It's 3:14 AM. You smell like sour yogurt, desperation, and whatever that weird metallic scent is that babies get when they’re...