The Truth About Your Newborn's Baby Skull and Spooky X-Rays
It was 2 AM, the only light in the room was the glowing screen of my phone, and I was holding a three-day-old Tucker while panic-typing "is my newborn an alien" into a search bar. I was staring at his...
Orajel Baby Madness: Why Teething Advice Is Completely Broken
"Rub some brandy on their gums," my mother-in-law advised over a Sunday roast, looking at me as if I was the village idiot for not having a hip flask ready next to the changing mat. "Just use the blue teething...
The Elektrische Zahnbürste Kinder Guide: What Actually Works
At 7:14 PM last Tuesday, I was pinning my 11-month-old to the bath mat in a gentle, modified jiu-jitsu hold while a neon-green vibrating brush whirred aggressively against my left nostril. He was laughing. I was sweating. The toothpaste had...
The Teething Gel Confusion: What I Learned About Numbing Gums
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the harsh fluorescent light of our open bathroom medicine cabinet, holding a tiny tube of adult toothache gel I had leftover from a minor dental procedure last year....
When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...
The baby teeth chart lie: What to expect when fangs arrive
I've got my knee gently pinning her left arm to the carpet, my elbow blocking her right, while I try to wedge a clean index finger past her lips. She has just ruined her first baby tee of the morning...