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Messy stack of folded receiving blankets on a nursery changing table

Why Everyone Lies About Receiving Blankets On Baby Registries

I was exactly twenty-three weeks pregnant with my oldest, standing in the middle of a big box store aisle in town with that little plastic registry scanner gun, staring at a four-pack of flannel squares while my mom insisted we...

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Tired mom holding a tiny organic baby bodysuit while drinking coffee

Surviving Baby Clothing Stores Without Losing Your Damn Mind

It was 7:45 PM on a random Tuesday in 2016, and I was standing in aisle four of one of those massive, fluorescent-lit baby clothing stores, eight months pregnant with Maya, sweating through a mustard-stained maternity tank top. My husband,...

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Messy Target baby registry cart with coffee in hand

The baby registry target reality check: What you actually need

"You don't need anything except a box of diapers and some onesies," my mother-in-law announced over her Pinot Grigio at my baby shower, which was aggressively unhelpful considering I was already sweating through my maternity leggings. Then my best friend...

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A tired mom looking at baby shower invitations for a girl on her laptop

The brutal reality of picking baby shower invitations for a girl

I was twenty-six weeks pregnant, eating fruit antacids like they were candy, staring at my laptop at two in the morning. The screen was a sea of aggressively pink digital paper. The search query was simple enough. I was just...

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baby clothesbaby registrymotherhoodnewbornorganic cottonparenting humor
A stressed mom holding a coffee cup in a car while looking at her phone

The Babies R Us Registry Panic: A Letter to My Anxious Past Self

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver’s seat of your Subaru in the parking lot of a Kohl’s, wearing those black leggings that have the weird hole near the knee, and you're literally vibrating...

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Overwhelmed pregnant mom staring at a baby registry list on her phone

The Only Baby Registry List That Won't Make You Lose Your Mind

I was sitting on the surprisingly sticky linoleum floor in aisle 14 of Target, holding one of those plastic registry scanner guns like it was a literal weapon, and I was openly weeping. It was a Tuesday. I was seven...

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A tired pregnant woman looking at a stack of blank baby shower envelopes

The 2 AM Envelope Meltdown and Other Baby Shower Realities

It was exactly 11:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room rug wearing my husband’s stained college sweatpants, aggressively stress-eating cold leftover macaroni and cheese out of a Tupperware container. Spread out around me were...

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Confused dad looking at a smartphone while holding a tiny baby sock.

Dear Past Marcus: Please Stop Overcomplicating the Baby Registry

You're currently sweating through your vintage Timbers hoodie, keeping nineteen browser tabs open, hovering your cursor over an "Add to Cart" button for a Bluetooth-enabled diaper pail. I need you to step away from the keyboard. It's me. Future Marcus....

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Confused dad looking at a massive spreadsheet of baby registry items

What Is A Baby Shower (And Why I Was Totally Wrong About Them)

I'm currently staring at a spreadsheet I built eleven months ago titled Baby_Shower_V1_Final.xlsx. My original strategy for figuring out what's a baby shower was to treat it like a vendor procurement meeting. I thought we could just email our friends...

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