The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies
There was poop in Leo’s ear. I don’t mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...
Why I Have a Love Hate Relationship With Newborn Tights With Feet
Sitting in the back pew of First Baptist, sweating completely through my holiday sweater while my three-month-old oldest, Tucker (who's basically the reason I've gray hair at thirty-one), screamed his head off during Silent Night. Why? Because it was a...
The Newborn Knitted Cardigan That Saved My Sanity With Twins
There's a very specific, cold sweat terror that grips you at 3:14 AM when you're attempting to force a rigid, non-stretchy cotton pullover over the fragile, violently wobbling head of a screaming two-week-old. I remember this moment vividly with Alice,...
The Great Winter Baby Bundling Myth (And What Actually Works)
I was standing in my icy driveway in early November wearing leggings with a very questionable hole in the inner thigh and a stained college hoodie, holding my third lukewarm mug of Keurig sludge, just staring at my mother-in-law. She...
The 3 AM blowout and why your baby kleider set actually matters
Listen, the meconium is going to ruin that pristine white newborn outfit before the hospital valet even brings your car around. I was staring at my perfectly packed hospital bag, heavily pregnant with my son, thinking my ten years on...
The Baby Sweater Survival Guide: How Not to Overcook Your Child
"Put a hat on her, she’s losing heat!" shouted an elderly woman at the bus stop, gesturing wildly at Maya (who was currently sweating through her vest and trying to eat a discarded bus ticket). Ten minutes later, a bloke...
Why finding a real usa baby tee is a nightmare (and how to fix it)
Yellow mustard poop all the way up the shoulder blades. That's what I was dealing with at two in the morning in my freezing Chicago apartment, trying to pry a rigid, zero-stretch miniature t-shirt over my screaming son's head. I...
The truth about newborn winter dresses and freezing temperatures
November in Chicago is a specific kind of brutal. The wind does that thing where it physically hurts your face. I was standing in my hallway holding my three-week-old daughter, who was stuffed into a thick velvet holiday dress, layered...
Why the cropped baby tee saved my sanity and his cord stump
Day five postpartum. Three in the morning. July in Chicago. The window unit AC was rattling like a dying lawnmower, the ambient humidity was somewhere around ninety percent, and my son was screaming with the kind of intensity that makes...