Commuter Train Chaos With An Infant And Other Truths

I'm standing on the train platform at 8:12 AM on a Tuesday, wearing a trench coat that has a crusty streak of spit-up on the left lapel, and I'm clutching a lukewarm coffee like it's a flotation device in open water. Leo is six months old, strapped to my chest in a carrier, and he's screaming because the express train just screeched past us, vibrating the concrete under my boots.

You know that old Sheena Easton pop song about the guy working 9 to 5? People used to joke about it when my husband Dave commuted to the office. But when your actual infant rides the early rail with you during peak rush hour? Oh god, it's not a cute 80s music video montage. It's an active hostage situation. Dave always acts like the train is this peaceful, magical place where he listens to his history podcasts and zones out, but Dave isn't carrying a human being who might aggressively soil themselves somewhere around 14th Street.

Before I figured out how to do this without losing my absolute mind, I did everything wrong. I mean EVERYTHING. So let me just spare you the tears and tell you what actually happens when you try to commute with a tiny, unpredictable roommate.

What I learned from the great stroller disaster of 2018

I feel like I need to confess this so you don't repeat my mistakes. When my older daughter Maya was about ten months old, I had this grand delusion that I could just casually roll her onto the Metro-North at 8 AM in our massive, luxury Uppababy stroller. I had the diaper bag clipped to the handle. I had a fancy latte in the cup holder. I felt like a very put-together city mom.

Then the train arrived, and the doors opened, and there was a four-inch gap between the platform and the train car, plus a step up. A crowd of businessmen in identical Patagonia fleece vests immediately bunched up behind me, sighing loudly while I tried to wedge the front wheels over the gap. The front wheels instantly jammed. My latte spilled all over the diaper bag.

I finally shoved the stroller into the vestibule area, but the train lurched forward before I could find the wheel locks. The entire stroller rolled backward, smashing into a pole. Maya started wailing. I spent the entire forty-minute ride wedged by the bathroom door, physically holding the stroller in place with my hip while sweating through my sweater. If you want to feel the burning, judgmental hatred of seventy tired commuters, bring a full-size stroller on a train at 8 AM.

Anyway, the point is, try to avoid the morning rush entirely if you've a stroller. Just strap the kid to your chest in a carrier and pray, because trying to fold a massive stroller while holding a squirming infant and a diaper bag is how people end up crying in public. Or if you've a flexible job, just leave your house at 10 AM when the train is totally empty. Seriously, the off-peak hours are your best friend.

The car seat debate my doctor started

Okay, so after the stroller trauma, I asked my pediatrician Dr. Miller what I was actually supposed to do. She looked at me, sighed, and explained that the American Academy of Pediatrics says the absolute safest method for train travel is to bring an FAA-approved car seat and strap your little one into their own dedicated train seat.

I stared at her like she had just suggested I fly to the moon. Logistically? That's insane. Who has a spare, empty seat next to them on a Tuesday morning commuter train? And who in their right mind is lugging a heavy plastic car seat through a crowded transit hub just to sit on the subway? I love safety, I really do, but I'm also a realist who only has two hands. But she's right, technically. In the event of a sudden stop or a crash, that car seat is the only thing keeping them truly secure, way more than just holding them on your lap.

Dr. Miller also mumbled something about how crowded train cars are basically floating petri dishes. Because infants under three months have totally immature immune systems, she basically begged me to keep Leo out of the crowded cars if I could help it. The air circulation in those older train cars is a complete joke. It's just recycled coughs.

The noise and the extremely gross air

The decibel level on a commuter train is terrifying if you really pay attention to it. My Apple Watch actually gave me a noise warning once when an express train blew his horn in the station. It hit over 90 decibels. That's so bad for tiny, developing eardrums. So yeah, I bought those ridiculous-looking infant noise-canceling earmuffs. Leo looks like a tiny construction worker when he wears them, but he seriously sleeps through the announcements now.

To deal with the germ situation, I started using a breathable barrier. If I absolutely have to use a lightweight travel stroller now, I drape the Organic Cotton Baby Blanket with Polar Bear Print over the canopy. It's gigantic—the 120x120cm size—and it creates this little protective tent. I used to worry about him overheating under blankets, but because it's 100% organic cotton, it breathes really well. It just blocks the rogue sneezes from the guy sitting across from us. Plus, Leo loves staring at the little bears when he wakes up.

As for the train bathroom? I'd literally rather change a blowout on the roof of the train while it's moving. Don't go in there.

Clothes for a moving sauna

The worst part about the train is that the temperature makes no sense. The platform is freezing. The train car itself is blasted with 85-degree artificial heat. Then you get off the train and the wind hits you. You can't put them in a massive puffy snowsuit because they'll literally roast in their seat.

My absolute holy grail for transit days is the Long Sleeve Organic Cotton Romper. I'm slightly obsessed with it. Last month on the LIRR, Leo had a massive diaper leak. Like, up-the-back level of destruction. Because this romper has a three-button henley top and enough stretch, I was able to slide it off him entirely while balancing him on my lap without dragging the mess over his head. It's soft enough that his eczema doesn't flare up when he sweats, and it layers perfectly under a light jacket.

I also used to carry the Organic Cotton Baby Blanket with Squirrel Print just to put over my lap as a buffer. It's a nice blanket, the print is super cute, but honestly? It's just okay for commuting. The minute it slipped off my lap and hit the sticky, unknown liquid on the subway floor, it was dead to me. I had to stuff it in a plastic bag until I could get home and wash it on hot. Stick to wearing your layers instead of carrying loose blankets that can fall.

If you're trying to figure out how to dress them for this nonsense, definitely look into organic baby clothes that seriously stretch and breathe. It'll save you so much panic when the train gets delayed in a tunnel and the AC turns off.

Anyway, we survive it. Leo usually falls asleep by the third stop, assuming the earmuffs stay on. I drink my terrible coffee. We get where we're going. It's messy and loud, but you get used to the rhythm of it eventually.

Before you brave the transit system with your little one, make sure you're honestly prepared for the temperature swings and the messes. Check out our collection of organic essentials to build your own survival kit.

Questions you probably have right now

Should I take my stroller on the morning train?
Look, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but unless you've a tiny travel stroller that you can fold with one hand, don't do it during rush hour. You will hate everyone and everyone will hate you. Babywearing is the only way I survive the 8 AM crowds. If you must bring a stroller, board the accessible car and lock your wheels immediately. Seriously, immediately.

Is the noise on the train bad for their ears?
Yeah, it kind of is. The screeching brakes and the loud announcements can easily hit 90 decibels, which my doctor said is way too loud for infant ears if they're exposed to it constantly. Get the little noise-canceling earmuffs. They look hilarious but they work, and your kid might honestly nap.

How do I protect them from train germs?
My pediatrician warned me that young babies have no immune system, so the recycled air on a crowded train is pretty gross. If I'm wearing Leo, I just turn him inward so he's facing my chest and I kind of hunch over him if someone is coughing. If he's in a stroller, I drape a breathable organic cotton blanket over the top. Just make sure it's a light, breathable fabric so it doesn't turn into an oven in there.

What's the actual safest way for them to ride?
So, officially, the AAP says you should bring their car seat and strap it into a train seat. It's the only way they're totally protected if the train stops violently. I find this logistically impossible for a daily city commute, but if you're taking a long Amtrak ride where you've the space and a guaranteed seat, definitely bring the car seat.

What should they wear for a train commute?
Layers, layers, layers. Train cars are notoriously overheated in the winter. Put them in a breathable organic cotton base layer, like a stretchy henley romper, and bring a cardigan or a jacket you can easily take off. Never put them in a thick winter coat while they're strapped to you—you'll both end up sweaty and miserable before the second stop.