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Dear Past Jess: The Truth About Chasing That Pampers Rebate
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting cross-legged on the rug in the living room, surrounded by three massive, empty cardboard boxes from HEB. Your toddler is currently using a...
The Truth About the Country Baby Tee Trend for Actual Babies
Halfway through trying to pull a stiff, mustard-yellow flannel over my six-month-old's head, I heard a seam pop. He was turning a concerning shade of magenta. His arms were pinned awkwardly against his ears, trapping him in a sort of...
Why Most Toddler Khaki Shorts Belong Straight In The Garbage
Three different people gave me completely conflicting instructions about dressing my kid for my cousin's outdoor wedding last summer. My mother-in-law cornered me at the mehndi to declare that a proper beta needs stiff, pleated trousers to look respectable in...
The Messy Reality of Children's Neckerchiefs
My mother-in-law stood in my Chicago kitchen last November holding a knitted wool scarf, insisting that if I didn't wrap my son's neck immediately, the draft would settle in his chest and give him pneumonia. Three hours later, a woman...
My kid's favorite chew toy is a blue baby tee (a survival guide)
Tuesday, 2:14 PM. It's aggressively raining in Portland, which is our baseline, but what isn't standard is the sheer volume of fluid currently exiting my 11-month-old's mouth. I'm sitting on the living room rug, watching him systematically destroy a perfectly...
The Truth About Newborn Holiday Clothes (And Velvet Disasters)
It was Thanksgiving 2017 and Maya was exactly two months old. I had spent forty-five dollars at a big box store on this tiny, stiff, maroon velvet dress with a metallic gold Peter Pan collar because I was a first-time...
The Truth About the Knitted Newborn Outfit Boy Parents Buy
When I was pregnant with my first son, Leo, my mother-in-law handed me this massive, heirloom cable-knit cardigan and said, "He must wear this home from the hospital, babies lose all their heat." The very next day, my best friend...
My Spectacular Fails Before Giving Up On Toddler Flare Jeans
It was 10:14 AM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing faded black leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a yoga studio since Obama was in office. I was holding a lukewarm iced coffee from that local place...
How I Debugged My Baby's Wardrobe And Switched To Bundles
It's 3:14 AM. I'm holding a pair of miniature corduroy pants that possess zero stretch, trying to thread an actively thrashing 11-month-old's leg into a fabric tube the diameter of a hot dog. He is screaming. I'm sweating. My wife,...