The Honest Truth About Switching to Neutral Baby Clothing Basics
I'm standing in my laundry room right now, staring at a hot pink, tulle-skirted monstrosity that says "Daddy's Little Princess" in scratchy sequins. My oldest daughter wore it exactly once. She screamed for forty-five minutes straight until her face was...
Exactly How Many Baby Mamas Does Elon Musk Have? A Mom's Guide
Dear Jess from six months ago: put down the phone and step away from the billionaire gossip. I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting in the dark in that creaky rocking chair, elbow-deep in the smell of...
Surviving the Laundry: A Real Guide to Newborn Baby Clothes
I'm currently staring at a laundry basket overflowing with tiny, mustard-yellow stained garments, drinking a cup of coffee that went cold somewhere around eight this morning. Between packing up orders for my Etsy shop and keeping my toddler from feeding...
Why Every Baby Math Formula Is Basically Lying To You
It was 3:14 AM, and I was sitting on the nursery floor wearing my husband Markβs oversized gray college sweatpantsβthe ones with the mystery bleach stain on the kneeβaggressively typing numbers into my glowing phone screen while my coffee from...
Why Miniature Denim is a Parenting Glitch You Need to Patch
My wife Sarah walked into the nursery, took one look at Leo, and sighed. I had him pinned to the changing table, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to secure a metallic snap on a pair of rigid, miniature denim trousers....
Surviving the baby markt: what I bought versus what actually works
The screen brightness is turned all the way down to a sliver, but it still burns my retinas. It's 3:14 in the morning. I'm trapped under a sleeping ten-pound dictator who will wake up if I shift my left leg...
A letter to my pregnant self about newborn clutter and tiny things
I'm writing this to you from the floor of the nursery. It's 2 a.m. in Chicago, the radiator is hissing, and I'm staring at a pile of miniature laundry that somehow multiplies when I blink. You're probably six months pregnant...
The Unfiltered Reality of Welcoming Baby Number Three
I was sweating through my favorite vintage band shirt in the middle of an August afternoon, staring at the back seat of my SUV with a tape measure in one hand and a half-eaten string cheese in the other. I...
My Brutally Honest Guide To Surviving The Baby Shower Cake Drama
I was thirty-three weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing a navy blue floral maternity wrap dress from Target that was actively cutting off the circulation to my ribs. It was 2:15 PM on a sweltering Sunday in July, I was sweating...