Debugging the Jogging Stroller: When Can We Actually Run?
I was exactly 400 meters into my first postpartum run around Mt. Tabor, pushing our everyday walking stroller, when the front wheel hit a stray pinecone and the entire chassis vibrated like a smartphone receiving an emergency alert. Inside the...
The absolutely chaotic reality of getting a baby passport now
"Just take the picture against the fridge," my sister texted me while I was wrist-deep in a morning blowout. "No, beta, you've to go to the pharmacy and hold him up like Simba," my mother countered on speakerphone, completely unbothered...
Surviving the American baby copperhead panic as a clueless dad
The humidity in North Carolina in late August is a physical assault, the kind of oppressive heat that makes your clothes feel like a wet apology. I was standing on my American in-laws' patio, clutching a rapidly melting gin and...
A Letter to My Past Self About Surviving Baby Car Seat Chaos
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently jammed into the backseat of the Honda, one knee completely numb because you're using your entire adult body weight to press a massive piece of plastic into the upholstery. Your iced...
Debugging the Baby Bag: The Mobile Hardware You Actually Need
I'm standing on the wet sidewalk outside Stumptown Coffee on SE Belmont, holding my eleven-month-old son at arm's length like he's a highly unstable radioactive isotope. It's forty-three degrees, misting in that relentless Pacific Northwest way, and my child has...
The real baby driver 2: A letter to my past self about car seat panic
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently idling in the driveway of the Hawthorne Fred Meyer in your Subaru. The engine is running. The heater is set exactly to 70 degrees because you read somewhere that anything else will...
Surviving New York With Twins: An Albee Baby Survival Guide
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing outside a Pret A Manger in Heathrow Terminal 5, confidently holding two passports covered in a sticky, mysterious residue. Florence is attempting to dismantle a display of stale croissants with the...
Why Rescuing That Adorable Coastal Baby Seal Is A Terrible Idea
We were twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a restorative family morning on a Cornish shingle beach, locked in a desperate battle with a pop-up windbreak that refused to pop anywhere but directly into my face, when Twin...
Secrets Baby Beach Aruba: The Midnight Hotel Panic
It was 2:14 AM, and I was wearing a fleece bathrobe over a maternity bathing suit top because my four-month-old, Leo, had just spit up breastmilk all over my favorite oversized college tee. My husband Dave was snoring in the...