Magazine

A stressed dad holding a tablet showing a children's video to a baby

Why Ms Rachel Works Like a Glitch in My Baby's Brain

The production database locked up at exactly 4:13 PM on a Tuesday, which was incidentally the exact moment my eleven-month-old decided his incoming lateral incisor required a decibel level usually reserved for jet engine testing. Outside, the Portland rain was...

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Toddler dressed in a pink sweater mimicking the K-Pop Demon Hunters character.

The Truth About That Demon Baby Movie Destroying Your Toddler

I found my two-year-old standing by the pantry yesterday, clutching a bottle of Cholula like a teddy bear, demanding I call him maknae. That was the moment I realized the biggest lie parents are telling each other right now. Everyone...

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A tired mother looking at a glowing smartphone while a toddler sits nearby

Why explicit industry baby lyrics are ruining my mornings now

The digital clock said 5:42 AM. The sky over Chicago was the color of wet concrete, and my coffee hadn't even finished dripping. I turned my back for three seconds to grab a mug. That was enough time for my...

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Exhausted mom looking confused at a smartphone screen while folding laundry

Why Super Creek Goo Goo Babies Isn't The Parenting Trend You Think

I was elbow-deep in a basket of mismatched toddler socks yesterday, trying to figure out how a house with five people produces seventy-three single left socks, when my fourteen-year-old nephew snorted from the couch. He was supposed to be helping...

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Frustrated mom taking a tablet away from a toddler sitting on a playmat

Why the baby fairy is a villainess trend ruined my whole week

I caught my teenage niece slipping her iPad to my two-year-old at Sunday dinner. The screen was a wash of pastel pinks, featuring a big-eyed, rosy-cheeked toddler in a frilly dress. I was tired. I was eating cold palak paneer....

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Confused dad looking at a smartphone while a toddler chews on a wooden panda toy

The 3 AM Search for Goo Goo Babies Uma Musume and Real Life

The iPad was glowing with an accusatory harshness against the peeling wallpaper of our London flat, illuminating a very specific kind of 3 AM domestic hell. Lily, the slightly more volatile of my two-year-old twin girls, had just violently expelled...

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Tired mom holding a sleeping baby while looking at her smartphone

Uncle Richard Is My Baby Daddy Dailymotion & Your Baby's Sleep

It's 2:14 in the morning. The house is dead quiet, except for the cicadas outside and the faint, tinny sound of a grown woman screaming "You lied to me!" coming from my iPhone speaker. I'm pinned under my youngest, who...

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Mom looking stressed while holding an iPad showing a cartoon baby dragon.

The Real Truth About That Free Baby Dragon Emote Code Situation

My mom told me to take the iPad, wrap it in a beach towel, and bury it in the backyard next to the old pecan tree where the dogs couldn't dig it up. Tyler, the sixteen-year-old neighbor who comes over...

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Mother wearing wireless headphones while baby plays on a wooden gym.

Who Is In The Oho Enthan Baby Cast? And Other Screen Time Realities

My mother-in-law swears that blasting Bollywood musicals while a baby sleeps builds character and deepens their REM cycle. The senior charge nurse from my pediatric rotation used to tell mothers that a single exposure to a glowing screen before age...

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