Why I Completely Changed My Mind About Trendy Baby Carhartt Gear
I was sweating straight through my t-shirt in the Buc-ee's parking lot, fighting a losing battle against a tiny, rigid brass zipper while the smell of candied pecans mocked my misery. My oldest son, who's now four and is the...
The Honest Guide to Feeding Crustaceans to Your Infant
I was standing in my kitchen at ten in the morning on a random Tuesday, holding a twenty-dollar tin of pasteurized lump meat like it was a live grenade. The smell of cold brine was filling the room. My son...
The 3 AM Nightmare of Putting Baby Doll Clothes on Tiny Plastic Arms
At 4:17 AM on a Tuesday, the ambient temperature in our living room was exactly 68.4 degrees. I know this because I was staring at the thermostat while sitting on the rug with a headlamp on, trying to thread a...
Raising Baby Elephants: The Truth About Elephant Parenting
I spent the first three months of my son's life armed with a color-coded spreadsheet. I tracked sleep windows, ounces consumed, and bowel movements with the grim intensity of a charge nurse during a code blue. I thought if I...
Why Everyone Is Searching for That Baby Assassins Movie (And Other ...
It was exactly 2:14 PM last Tuesday. I know this because I was staring at the microwave clock, wearing my husband Mark's grey college sweatpantsβthe ones with the inexplicable bleach stain near the kneeβand waiting for my third cup of...
Real Talk on Baby Acne Treatments (What Actually Saved My Newborn)
It was 3:14 in the morning, and my husband Dave was hovering over the bassinet with his iPhone flashlight turned on full blast, aiming it directly at our four-week-old daughterβs cheek. I was sitting on the edge of the bed...
The atom bomb baby panic and why you need to log off right now
It's two in the morning and the blue light from the television is flickering down the hallway of my Chicago apartment. My husband is awake, playing that massive post-apocalyptic video game again. The volume is turned down to a mere...
The Hilarious and Messy Truth About Raising a Cute Anime Baby
I was standing in my kitchen at two in the morning, aggressively peeling a sweaty, bright yellow, 100% polyester Pikachu costume off my screaming eight-month-old while the ending theme of some intense action show blared from the living room TV....
Why We Looked For Angel Baby Lyrics After Our World Stopped
Iβm sitting in our Subaru outside the Fred Meyer on West Burnside, and the wipers are on the lowest setting, squeaking against the windshield every four seconds. My wife is staring blankly at the dashboard clock. In my hand, I've...