What Is a Rainbow Baby? The Beautiful, Messy, Anxious Reality
I was standing in the wildly unflattering fluorescent lighting of a Buc-ee's bathroom off I-35 when I saw the two pink lines. My oldest, who's a walking cautionary tale of why you shouldn't let a toddler eat a powdered donut...
The Great Gerber Baby Myth and The Reality of Infant Parenting
I'm currently staring at a smear of what I think is pureed sweet potato on my kitchen ceiling. I don't know how it got up there. My son is eleven months old, sits exactly thirty-two inches below that spot in...
Raising A Baby Boy: Surviving The Chaos And Finding Cute Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with my oldestβthe child who's now officially my daily cautionary taleβI got three distinct pieces of advice in the span of one afternoon. The lady at the post office told me boys are emotionally...
Surviving the "Pretty Little Baby" Illusion (And Other Newborn Real...
I'm standing in the poorly lit postnatal ward of a central London hospital, staring at what looks like two furious, bruised potatoes. My wife is completely unconscious, having just performed a biological miracle that looked exactly like a medical emergency,...
The Only Things You Actually Need For A New Baby (And What To Skip)
"You absolutely need the wipe warmer," my sister-in-law hissed across the table, leaning in like she was giving me state secrets. "If a cold wipe touches that baby's bottom, you'll never sleep again." "Don't buy anything," my hippie neighbor countered...
Why Baby Reindeer is Actually a Terrible Nursery Theme (And Show)
On a random Tuesday last month, I received three completely contradictory pieces of data within the span of six hours. First, my coworker Todd slacked me a message between server deployments saying, "Dude, you gotta check out that baby reindeer...
The Truth About Raising Daughters and Surviving the Pink Explosion
The ultrasound gel was freezing, and Dave was staring at the monitor like it was a blurry weather map he didn't quite understand. I was lying there in a paper gown that was definitely tearing at the shoulder, clutching a...
How to keep your lil baby alive without losing your entire mind
Listen, I spent my first two weeks as a mother doing everything exactly wrong. It was three in the morning, and I was bouncing violently on a yoga ball, aggressively shushing while balancing my phone on my shoulder to play...
The Truth About The Baby Driver Movie And Actual Car Seat Safety
Let's talk about the biggest, fattest lie the universe feeds expecting parents: that babies inherently love riding in the car. You know the exact myth I'm talking about. You've probably seen those pristine, beige-aesthetic moms on Instagram claiming that all...