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The Messy Truth About Raising Cute Babies (And Surviving The Crying)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was trying to wrestle a screaming, four-day-old Leo out of a stiff, scratchy mustard-yellow linen romper that had, like, seventeen tiny wooden buttons. I was sweating through my nursing bra. My...
How The Rapper Baby Kaely Totally Changed My Digital Parenting
It was Tuesday at exactly 4:38 PM, which, if you've children, you know is the absolute worst time of day. The witching hour. My four-year-old, Maya, was actively crying because her string cheese was "too stringy," and I was standing...
Baby I'm Yours: The Real Cost of Bringing Your First Home
I vividly remember sitting in the driver's seat of my beat-up Ford Escape in a sweltering South Texas Target parking lot, nine months pregnant with my oldest. The air conditioner was fighting for its life, and I was blasting my...
Predicting Your Baby's Face: The Truth About AI Image Generators
I'm currently sitting at my kitchen island with a laundry basket full of mismatched toddler socks on my left, and three text messages glaring at me from my phone on my right, all offering completely contradictory advice about how to...
When Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time Ruined Our Tuesday
The snow outside our Chicago apartment was coming down completely sideways. It was day three of being trapped indoors with a 6-month-old who had abruptly decided that afternoon naps were a biological construct he no longer believed in. I was...
The uncomfortable baby daddy meaning in modern co-parenting
The waiting room of pediatric cardiology smells like industrial floor cleaner and stale terror. I was sitting there last Tuesday, balancing my squirming toddler on one hip while trying to fill out a medical history form with my non-dominant hand....
The Absolute Mess of Tiny Sneakers and What Actually Works
I'm sweating through my faded vintage band t-shirt. The air conditioning in our cramped Brooklyn walk-up is completely shot, and my husband Dave is just standing there in the doorway. He's holding my iced oat milk latteβwhich is definitely mostly...
How My Eleven-Month-Old Gained Root Access to Our Entire House
There was a spoon flying toward my left eye before I'd even managed to fully process that the coffee maker was empty. I ducked, the metal clattered against the stainless steel fridge, and my eleven-month-old son glared at me from...
Dear Past Marcus: Debugging the Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM. You're standing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles of our Portland apartment, illuminated only by the aggressive, blinking red light of a plastic tower. You're holding a screaming five-month-old in...