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What I Learned When I Googled the Meaning of Baby Booter
There I was, scraping what I can only assume was fossilised Weetabix off the kitchen skirting board, while my twin daughters, Maya and Zoe, were busy conducting a very loud, off-beat symphony with two wooden spoons and a saucepan. They...
What the Heck is a Sugar Baby (And Why My Kitchen is Sticky)
I was standing at my kitchen island yesterday, scraping dried oatmeal off the counter with a thumbnail while trying to fulfill three Etsy orders for custom nursery signs, when I nearly dropped my phone into a lukewarm mug of coffee....
The Erika Kirk Third Baby Rumour And My Doomscrolling Panic
Whatever you do, absolutely don't lie in bed at 4:13 in the morning with one eye clamped shut to preserve your night vision while violently trying to extract a heavily chewed dummy from beneath a sleeping toddler, only to open...
How a 3AM "CD Baby" Mix-Up Accidentally Fixed Our Sleep
The nursery thermostat read exactly 69.5 degrees, the humidifier was pumping at a steady 40 percent output, and my 11-week-old daughter was emitting a continuous, high-pitched frequency that felt like it was physically vibrating my teeth. It was 3:14 AM...
Why the Viral Baby Grinch Trend is Actually Ruining Holidays
My mother-in-law told me I needed to establish firm dominance the second my toddler started acting like a green menace this December. The moms in my neighborhood group suggested the exact opposite, telling me to lean into the chaos and...
The 3 AM Breaking Point and the Truth About Shaken Baby Syndrome
There's a very specific frequency of noise that two eight-week-old humans can achieve simultaneously, and I'm fairly certain it violates several international treaties. It was a Tuesday, somewhere around 3:14 in the morning, and I was pacing the hallway of...
The Truth About When Your Baby Will Actually Start Talking
It was late 2018, and I was sitting cross-legged on a primary-colored foam puzzle mat in a community center basement that smelled faintly of bleached diapers and absolute despair. I was wearing yoga pants that had definitely never seen the...
Why that classic seated baby walker is actually a terrible idea
Last Diwali, my mother-in-law cornered me near the samosas with a brightly colored plastic catalog she had acquired from god knows where. She flipped to a dog-eared page and pointed to a massive plastic saucer surrounded by wheels and covered...
Why A Tiny Green Alien Explains My Entire First Year Of Fatherhood
It's 3:14 AM, and my eleven-month-old is currently trying to shove a completely intact, unpeeled banana into his left ear while maintaining unblinking, terrifying eye contact with me. I'm wearing sweatpants I haven't washed since Tuesday and a Mandalorian t-shirt...