Raising a Baby Queen: The Brutal Truth About Royal Parenting
At precisely 4:12 on a Tuesday morning, I found myself executing a deep, entirely unironic bow to a person who had just soiled herself up to the shoulder blades. My mother-in-law had visited the day before, bearing a rhinestone-encrusted tiara...
Why Every Mom is Obsessed With the Baby Pygmy Hippo
I was sitting on my living room floor at 2:14 AM last Tuesday, surrounded by half-folded shipping boxes for my Etsy shop, nursing my youngest, and watching a video of a baby pygmy hippo aggressively gumming a zookeeper's knee. And...
The 2 AM Snot Panic and the Alligator Wrestling Match
I was sitting in the rocking chair at two in the morning, holding my oldest kid when he was just three weeks old, and he sounded exactly like a forty-pound pug who had just run a marathon in the Texas...
The Truth About Finishing A Baby Memory Book Without Crying
I was sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor at two in the morning with a glue stick in one hand and a stack of blurry hospital photos in the other, absolutely sobbing because I couldn't remember the exact circumference of...
How to Nail a Baby Luigi Look Without Toxic Polyester Crap
I was sitting on the sticky laminate floor of our hallway at 4 PM on a Tuesday, drinking aggressively room-temperature coffee out of a chipped mug, trying to peel my screaming six-month-old out of a licensed character costume. The biggest...
Note to Self: That Premium Sewing Machine Won't Fix Your Sleep Depr...
You're currently staring at a pile of blowout-ruined sleep sacks at three in the morning, holding a pair of dull kitchen scissors and convinced you can upcycle them into a quilt. Put the scissors down, Priya. I'm writing this to...
Why The "Goldie Baby Porn" Search Hijack Changed How I Parent
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in those gray fleece sweatpants that have completely lost their waistband elasticity, furiously deleting three years' worth of Instagram photos with a...
What to Do When You Look Outside and See a Baby Rat Near Your Kids
It was 6:15 on a freezing Tuesday morning, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of inside-out Target leggingsβyou know the ones with the side pocket that always sags?βdrinking my third espresso because Maya was going through...
The undeniable madness of the Ralph Lauren baby boy aesthetic
When my mate Dave's wife was expecting their first boy, the unsolicited wardrobe advice came thick and fast, arriving with all the force of a high-speed train. Dave's mum insisted he needed tiny little cable-knit cardigans to look "respectable" (respectable...