Magazine

Tired mom holding a newborn baby in a pediatrician clinic waiting room

The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Choosing a Great Baby Doctor

I'm currently typing this one-handed on my phone in a clinic waiting room that smells aggressively like rubbing alcohol and cheap cherry lollipops, while my youngest tries to aggressively gnaw my collarbone off. The lady across from me is staring...

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A tired dad holding a newborn baby while looking at his smartphone in a dark room

What the bhad baby news taught me about newborn survival mode

The blue light from my phone was set to the absolute lowest brightness, but in the pitch black of our Portland bedroom at 3:17 AM, it still felt like staring directly into a laser pointer. My eleven-month-old daughter was asleep...

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A tired dad holding a baby wearing a comfortable organic cotton bodysuit.

The Miniature CEO: Why I Stopped Dressing My Baby Like a Tiny Adult

I was exactly four and a half minutes into trying to button a miniature, tailored tweed blazer onto my squirming 11-month-old when I realized my entire approach to parenting apparel was fundamentally flawed. He was doing that terrifying back-arching maneuver,...

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A tired dad looking at his phone in a dark nursery

The 3 AM System Crash: A Letter to Past Me About That Sound

It's 3:14 AM, and you're currently standing over the crib with your phone flashlight pressed against your chest so the glare doesn't wake him fully, intensely analyzing the rhythmic, aggressive hacking sound coming from your five-month-old son. You're sweating. You...

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Exhausted dad staring in pure panic at a tiny gold baby bracelet

The Brutal Truth About Baby Bracelets and Why I Totally Panicked

We were somewhere between the second slice of dry Victoria sponge and Florence’s inevitable afternoon meltdown when my wife's great-aunt produced the velvet box. We had survived the actual christening with only a moderate amount of screaming (mostly from me,...

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A tired dad holding a fresh nappy and baby wipes in a dimly lit nursery.

The 3AM Panic: Why Your Baby's Dark Green Poop Is Usually Fine

It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm operating entirely by the pale, depressing glow of my phone's flashlight. The four-minute-older twin has decided that sleeping through the night is a scam invented by adults, and she's communicating this via a...

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A tired mother holding her baby in a dimly lit nursery while scrolling on her phone.

The late-night angela baby search and other postpartum traps

Dear past Priya. You're sitting in the nursing chair right now at three in the morning. The glow of the screen is illuminating the dark circles under your eyes. You smell like sour milk and fenugreek. The baby is finally...

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Exhausted dad looking at baby clothes after a late night internet search

The tatu baby search that completely broke my dad brain at 2 AM

2:14 AM. The nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees. The white noise machine is pushing out a continuous loop of brown noise at precisely 42 decibels. My 11-month-old daughter is asleep on my chest, breathing 32 times a minute. I know...

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Exhausted mother laughing on floor surrounded by baby boxes

The Tous Baby Consumer Trap: What I Wish I Knew Six Months Ago

Hey Jess. You're currently sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of the Target baby aisle, roughly seven months pregnant with baby number three, crying over whether to buy a sixty-dollar wipe warmer that has a built-in nightlight and Bluetooth speaker....

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