UPPAbaby Cruz V2: What I Wish I Knew Before The Registry Panic

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago,

You're currently sitting at the kitchen island at 2 AM. Dave is snoring upstairs—a sound that's somehow migrating through the floorboards—and you're wearing those hideous grey sweatpants with the bleach stain on the left knee. You've got seven browser tabs open, alternating between a lukewarm mug of French roast and a spreadsheet of stroller dimensions, completely spiraling because you promised your pregnant sister you’d help her build her registry.

You're over-researching. Again.

I know you're trying to figure out if she really needs an uppa baby or if she should just get some cheap umbrella stroller from Target. You’ve been reading review after review, looking for the ultimate answer. I'm writing to you from the future to tell you to close the spreadsheet, drink some water, and just listen to me for a second.

When you've a baby, the gear just takes over your entire house like an invading army of beige and grey canvas. It's suffocating. But the stroller is the one piece of equipment you'll use every single day, so you actually do have to get this one right. And after going down the rabbit hole, I ended up telling her to get the uppa baby cruz, and honestly? It was the best advice I've ever given her.

The great Vista delusion that we all fall for

I know what you’re thinking. You're looking at the Vista because everyone in our neighborhood pushes one. It’s like the official mom-uniform accessory. Dave basically made a PowerPoint presentation about why we needed a double stroller when I was pregnant with Maya, because "what if we've another one right away?" We didn't have Leo for three more years. That massive double stroller just sat in my hallway taking up half the house and making me feel guilty.

There's this gear guy on YouTube—I forget his name, maybe Dadverb?—who says the same thing. Everyone thinks they need the double expansion. But by the time your second kid arrives, the older one usually wants to walk anyway, or they just stand on one of those ride-on boards. The Cruz is narrower, lighter, and way easier to push through the aisles at Trader Joe's without taking out a display of seasonal pumpkin cookies.

Just tell her to get the single stroller and attach the little PiggyBack board later if she ever has a second kid. The fold is pretty easy, too—just a little button and a pull and it stands up on its own.

Let's talk about the weight because they're lying to you

The brand calls the Cruz V2 "compact without compromise." Which is hilarious. It weighs 25.5 pounds.

That's heavy. Like, seriously heavy. If she lived in a third-floor walk-up in the city, I'd absolutely tell her to buy a tiny travel stroller instead, because carrying 25 pounds of aluminum up three flights of stairs while holding a baby and a diaper bag is how you slip a disc. But she lives in the suburbs and drives a mid-size SUV, so hoisting it into the trunk is totally fine. Anyway, the point is, don't let the word "compact" fool you into thinking it's a lightweight travel stroller.

But the trade-off for that weight is the basket. Holy crap, the basket. It holds 30 pounds. When Maya was little, I literally used to shove two full bags of groceries, Dave's weirdly large winter coat, and a diaper bag the size of a small boat under there. It’s basically a shopping cart that occasionally holds an infant.

Spines, sun, and other things the doctor warned me about

Dr. Aris, our doctor, always used to tell me that tiny infants are basically just liquid and cartilage. I'm not an engineer, and my grasp on physics is limited to knowing my coffee cup will shatter if I drop it, but there's something about their developing spines needing shock absorption.

The V2 has this dual-action suspension thing on all the wheels. I don't totally understand how it works mechanically, but I do know it means you can push it over the god-awful tree roots on Elm Street and their little bobbleheads don't snap around violently. Plus, the canopy on this thing is huge. It has UPF 50+ protection, which is great because the AAP is always yelling about keeping babies under six months out of direct sunlight, and trying to keep a sunhat on a kicking infant is an exercise in futility.

Speaking of keeping babies comfortable in a stroller, you know how they always get that angry red rash where the five-point harness hits their neck? Half of that's just cheap synthetic clothing trapping sweat under tight straps. When you buy her the stroller, throw in a couple of good basics. I actually got her the Sleeveless Organic Cotton Baby Bodysuit from Kianao. It’s just a really solid, incredibly soft base layer. It stretches well, doesn't have any weird scratchy tags, and organic cotton seems to breathe better when they’re strapped into a foam stroller seat for an hour.

If you're also currently spiraling about building a baby registry and want things that won't irritate your kid's skin, check out Kianao's organic apparel collection. It's so much easier than guessing which Amazon brands are actually safe.

The newborn tax is real and it's annoying

Here's the one thing that deeply annoyed me when I was doing this research: out of the box, the Cruz is only for babies three months and older.

If you want to put a newborn in it, you've to buy extra stuff. The AAP says babies need a totally firm, flat surface for safe sleep, so you either have to buy the UPPAbaby Bassinet (which is like two hundred bucks extra, ugh) or you've to buy their Infant SnugSeat insert for fifty bucks. My sister ended up getting the SnugSeat because the bassinet takes up too much storage space once they grow out of it in literally twelve weeks.

But once they hit the teething stage around four months? You're going to want a toy leash. Leo used to just hurl his toys out of the stroller into oncoming traffic. I highly suggest getting her a teether that you can genuinely loop a pacifier clip through and tie to the leather bumper bar. I like the Panda Teether Silicone Baby Bamboo Chew Toy. Honestly, there are a million teethers out there, but this one doesn't look like brightly colored plastic garbage, and you can just throw it in the top rack of the dishwasher when it inevitably gets covered in mysterious park-bench stickiness.

What happens when you genuinely get home

You can't just leave them in the stroller forever. I mean, there were days with Leo when his colic was so bad I just wheeled him in circles around the kitchen island for two hours, but eventually, you've to take the kid out.

They need floor time. When I had Maya, I bought this plastic light-up play gym that played a tinny, slightly out-of-tune version of "Old MacDonald" every time she kicked it. By day four, Dave and I were ready to set it on fire.

This time around, I told my sister to register for the Wooden Baby Gym | Rainbow Play Gym Set with Animal Toys. It's just... quiet. The wood is sturdy, the little hanging elephant is cute without being obnoxious, and it doesn't require batteries. It gives the baby something to reach for and focus on while you finally get to drink a cup of coffee while it's still seriously hot. Or at least lukewarm.

So, past Sarah, close the tabs. Text her to put the Cruz on the registry. Go to bed. Dave's snoring isn't going to stop anytime soon.

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The highly specific stroller FAQs nobody really answers honestly

Can you jog with the UPPAbaby Cruz?
Oh god no. The wheels are polyurethane, not air-filled. I tried to do a "light jog" once with Maya because Dave told me I should "get some fresh air and endorphins," and my teeth practically rattled out of my head. It's for sidewalks and Target aisles, not marathons.

Does the Cruz come with a bassinet?
Nope. The Vista does, but the Cruz doesn't. You have to buy it separately, which is wildly annoying considering how much the stroller already costs. Or you can just buy the SnugSeat insert for a fraction of the price and recline the toddler seat all the way back.

Is the basket really that big?
Yes. It's comically large. It holds 30 pounds. I once transported an entire Thanksgiving turkey, two bottles of wine, and a jumbo pack of wipes under there.

Can the Cruz hold two kids?
Not in seats. You can't snap a second seat onto it like you can with the Vista. But you can buy this little wooden skateboard thing called a PiggyBack board that attaches to the back. Your older toddler can stand on it while you push the baby. Leo loved it for exactly two weeks and then flatly refused to ever stand on it again, because toddlers are feral.

Does it fit in a small car trunk?
I mean, compared to a Mack truck? Sure. Compared to a travel stroller? Absolutely not. I had a Honda Civic when Maya was born and getting the Cruz into the trunk required removing the seat, folding the frame, and playing a high-stakes game of Tetris. If you've a small car, definitely test it out at a baby store first.