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Why standard infant long sleeve shirts are a complete lie (until yo...
It was July 2020, roughly 88 degrees outside with 90 percent humidity, and I was sitting on the concrete patio of my neighborhood coffee shop sweating through my own shirt while three different people offered me completely contradictory opinions about...
Troubleshooting the Breathable Blanket for Newborns Paradox
I was standing in our Portland apartment's second bedroom—newly converted from my gaming office to a nursery—staring at a stack of fourteen folded textiles. Fourteen. My wife, Sarah, had washed, dried, and color-coordinated a mountain of fabric based on a...
How Many Bibs Do I Need? A Tech Dad’s Guide To Drool Mathematics
Tuesday, 3:14 AM. I'm standing in our freezing laundry room holding a tiny, sour-milk-soaked triangle of fabric by two fingers, staring into the dark void of the dryer drum. My wife is upstairs walking our screaming 11-month-old in tight circles,...
Why You Must Buy Baby Bibs Organic: A Pediatric Nurse Explains
I was staring at a laundry basket overflowing with thirty-two polyester-blend baby shower gifts when I realized my registry was a massive failure. Before I had my son, I thought these fabric scraps were just cute accessories to tie an...
Why My Perfect Pink Infant Bedding Set Ended Up In The Trash
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, sitting on the floor of my Chicago apartment, crying over a contractor bag. Inside the plastic bag was roughly four hundred dollars worth of perfectly coordinated blush textiles. It was a complete crib set I...
The 3 AM Disaster That Taught Me Everything About Baby Loveys
Tuesday, 6:42 PM. The Central Line. Specifically, the perilous two-inch gap between the train carriage and the platform at St. Paul's station. That's exactly where it went. Maya's beloved, slightly grey-tinged, biologically questionable scrap of fabric slipped from her sticky...
Surviving Chicago Winters With a Long Sleeve Baby Girl Bodysuit
I'm standing by the changing table in our drafty apartment. It's mid-November, the wind is howling off Lake Michigan, and my six-day-old daughter is screaming. She looks like a furious, wrinkled potato. My mother had lovingly shipped a box of...
Decoding the Knitted Romper: A Dad's Guide to Baby Hardware
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Tuesday to declare that any kind of woven wool would immediately give the baby a full-body rash. Ten minutes later, my neighbor—a guy who brews his own kombucha in a garage—leaned over...
Debugging the Base Layer: A Dad’s Guide to Bodysuit Blanks
Before my son was born, I received three distinct pieces of base-layer advice that completely crashed my internal logic board. My mother insisted I needed to wrap the baby in three layers of fleece because our Portland house is drafty....