The Absolute Mess of Tiny Sneakers and What Actually Works
I'm sweating through my faded vintage band t-shirt. The air conditioning in our cramped Brooklyn walk-up is completely shot, and my husband Dave is just standing there in the doorway. He's holding my iced oat milk latte—which is definitely mostly...
How My Eleven-Month-Old Gained Root Access to Our Entire House
There was a spoon flying toward my left eye before I'd even managed to fully process that the coffee maker was empty. I ducked, the metal clattered against the stainless steel fridge, and my eleven-month-old son glared at me from...
Dear Past Marcus: Debugging the Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM. You're standing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles of our Portland apartment, illuminated only by the aggressive, blinking red light of a plastic tower. You're holding a screaming five-month-old in...
Decoding the Baby Booter Slang: A Dad's Guide to Internet Traps
My mother-in-law texted me at 7:00 AM asking if I'd installed the "booter seat" in the car yet. An hour later, a buddy from my old dev team Slack messaged me a laughing emoji and said I was officially a...
The Sandwich Generation Bug: Debugging Babies and Aging Parents
I was standing in my kitchen at 6:15 AM yesterday, holding a screaming 11-month-old in my left arm while using my right hand to reset my 72-year-old dad's iPad password for the third time this week. He was frustrated because...
What The Baby Boom Years Actually Taught Me About Motherhood
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently hiding in the downstairs half-bath. It's Tuesday, 4:13 PM. You're wearing those black maternity leggings that you definitely shouldn't still be wearing because Leo is four years old, and there's a...







