Dear Past Sarah: Devil Man Cry Baby Is Definitely Not For Kids
Dear Sarah from last October. You're currently sitting on the floor of the downstairs bathroom because it’s the only room with a lock that the kids haven't figured out how to pick with a paperclip yet. You have a lukewarm...
Furry Babies: Managing Pets, Pretend Play, and Tiny Humans
I was standing on my front porch sweating through my postpartum pads, clutching my three-day-old son like he was a live grenade, while my 80-pound lab mix, Buster, hurled his entire body against the glass storm door. The dog was...
She Gon Call Me Baby Boo TikTok Trend Nearly Ended Me
I was knee-deep in a pile of unsorted laundry—the kind of massive, intimidating pile where you honestly can't tell what's actually clean and what has just been worn for five minutes and tossed on the floor by a toddler—when my...
The Hackney Standoff: Two Babies, One Urban Fox, Zero Dignity
At 5:43 AM on a drizzly Tuesday, I found myself in a high-stakes staring contest with a mangy urban fox. I was armed only with a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and two extremely confident toddlers who were aggressively wielding...
Why we are all lying about the dreaded tablet toddler phase
Listen, we're sitting at a loud brunch spot off the Blue Line, and my son decides the texture of his waffle is deeply offensive. He throws it on the floor. He starts winding up for that specific, ear-piercing shriek that...
What's a Nepo Baby? Raising Hard Workers in a Privileged World
It was ninety-eight degrees in July, smelling heavily of cheap sunscreen and chlorine, when I realized I had created a monster. My four-year-old, Beau, was clinging to the edge of the community pool screaming bloody murder while the other kids...
Why a baby jaguar book fixed our worst speech therapy meltdowns
We were sitting on the living room rug surrounded by flashcards when he just stopped trying. My toddler had his mouth open, a tiny little gasp of air caught in his throat, his face turning a blotchy red while he...
Why the wild baby lion parenting trend is completely exhausting
I'm standing in the produce aisle at Marianos while my two-year-old arches his back so hard he resembles a freshly caught trout. He's furious because I won't let him bite directly into a raw, unpeeled sweet potato. An older woman...
The Baby Rottweiler Protocol: Debugging Life With a 100-Pound Dog
The system totally crashed on a Tuesday at 4:13 PM. It was pouring rain here in Portland, which meant our 115-pound dog, Buster, had completely refused to step outside to use the bathroom and was currently running on 100 percent...