Magazine

A tired mom holding a very chunky newborn baby in a rustic nursery

Surviving Big Baby Davis: Raising A Literal Ten-Pound Newborn

"Are you absolutely sure there's only one in there?" I was staring at the popcorn ceiling of my OB's office in rural Texas, slick with that freezing blue ultrasound gel, while the poor tech just kept measuring and re-measuring my...

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exhausted millennial mom holding a crying teething baby in the kitchen

Teething Nightmares, 90s Nostalgia, and the Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and our kitchen floor was aggressively cold. Maya was six months old and shrieking like a tiny, angry banshee because her bottom left tooth was trying to break through her gums with the...

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A mother watching her teething baby play with wooden animal toys.

Why Your Teething Toddler Acts Like a Wild Baby Crocodile

"Bite him back," my mom told me over the phone last Tuesday while I sat on the kitchen floor and iced the fresh, purple teeth marks on my forearm. "That'll teach him right quick." Meanwhile, the crunchy preschool director had...

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Dad holding two teething baby twins covered in drool and a silicone panda teether

Orajel Baby Madness: Why Teething Advice Is Completely Broken

"Rub some brandy on their gums," my mother-in-law advised over a Sunday roast, looking at me as if I was the village idiot for not having a hip flask ready next to the changing mat. "Just use the blue teething...

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Baby chewing on a silicone sushi roll teether

The brutal reality of when do baby teeth come in for parents

The radiator in our Chicago apartment was making that rhythmic metallic clanking sound it only makes at three in the morning. I was sitting on the edge of the nursery glider, unbuttoning a soaked baby tee in the dark because...

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A tired dad holding a clinging baby dressed in an organic cotton bodysuit.

What I Wish I Knew About Raising Your Very Own Human Baby Sloth

Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo while the kettle boils, pressing your forehead against the cold tiles. It's 3:14 am. Twin A has refused to be put down since Tuesday, and Twin...

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Mom holding a silicone baby teether instead of a dangerous ice cube

When Ice Ice Baby Goes Wrong: Teething, Choking, and Cold Fails

I was standing in my kitchen at two in the morning in a ratty t-shirt, sweat dripping down my back because Texas in July is basically a swamp, watching a piece of ice slide out of my fingers and straight...

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Maya chewing furiously on a green textured silicone teething ring

Beissringe Silikon: The Ugly Truth About Teething Advice

Let's rewind to Maya at four months old. I was wearing a gray nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, and it had this weird yellow yogurt stain on the left strap that I had completely given...

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Baby chewing on a chilled silicone panda teether next to a wet washcloth.

Dear past Priya: Drop the toxic gel teething ring right now

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing barefoot on the cold kitchen tile at three in the morning. The refrigerator compressor is humming, and your son is doing that raspy, exhausted whimpering thing that makes you feel like...

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