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The Buc-ee's pants disaster and why I only buy leggings baumwolle bio
I'm standing in the blindingly bright, pristine bathroom of a Buc-ee’s somewhere off Interstate 35, and my eighteen-month-old son is screaming like I’m trying to exorcise a demon from his body. It’s August in Texas, which means the air outside...
Dear Past Marcus: The Hard Truth About Organic Preemie Clothes
I still smell that specific pink hospital soap sometimes. The foaming one from the wall dispenser outside Pod B. If I close my eyes right now, sitting in my kitchen with a lukewarm coffee while an 11-month-old aggressively tries to...
Naturkautschuk Beißring: A Dad’s Guide to Teething Hardware (66 chars)
It was exactly 3:14 AM when I realized my eleven-month-old had somehow bypassed the living room baby gate and was quietly trying to soothe his terribly swollen gums on the braided power cord of my MacBook Pro. There was a...
Why the Teething Freezer Trick is a Disaster (And the Silicone Fix)
I was standing in front of the open refrigerator at 3:14 AM wearing a t-shirt I’d spilled coffee on twelve hours earlier, holding my oldest son Tucker while he screamed bloody murder. He was about five months old, drooling like...
The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies
There was poop in Leo’s ear. I don’t mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...
The ganzkörper lätzchen saved my twins from tomato sauce ruin
There's a persistent, incredibly damaging rumour floating around antenatal classes that starting your baby on solid food is a gentle, aesthetic journey. You're led to believe you'll hand your darling infant a perfectly steamed baton of sweet potato, which they'll...
The brutal truth about buying your baby's winter sweater
It was mid-November in Chicago, which means the wind off the lake feels like tiny knives. I was running late for a four-month well-child check. My mother-in-law had gifted us this thick, chunky-knit mustard pullover that looked adorable on the...
Why Pippi Lätzchen Saved Us from the Teething Drool Nightmare
I'm standing in my kitchen at 4:12 PM on a Tuesday in late November. I'm wearing my husband's oversized grey fleece that smells vaguely of stale coffee and desperation, and I'm holding my five-month-old son, Leo. He is screaming. Not...
Die richtige Zahnbürste für Kleinkinder finden (ohne Drama)
Meine Schwiegermutter drängte mich am Dienstagmorgen in der Küche in die Ecke – sie trug diese furchteinflößende Schürze mit den riesigen Sonnenblumen, an der noch etwas Mehl klebte –, fuchtelte mit einem Pfannenwender herum und meinte: „Rubbel einfach mit einem...