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The Truth About the Baby Reindeer Cast Before You Hit Search
I was elbow-deep in a pile of clean laundry that had been sitting on the armchair for four solid days, casually typing "baby reindeer" into my phone with one thumb. I was just trying to find a matching woodland holiday...
The Blunt, Honest Truth About Feeding Baby Puffs To Your Kids
I was cleaning out my minivan last Tuesday—a task I only do when the smell of sour milk becomes physically unbearable—and I found it. Cemented to the floorboard beneath the car seat, practically fossilized into the upholstery, was a single,...
Why the baby pink hex code is a total scam for your nursery
I was standing in the middle of the paint aisle at a home improvement store, thirty-eight weeks pregnant and sweating through my maternity leggings. I held forty-two different swatch cards that all claimed to be the definitive pastel blush. My...
Otaku Parenting and the Messy Reality of Cute Anime Baby Trends
My sister-in-law cornered me at a family barbecue, holding a dripping hot dog that was dangerously close to my sweater, to insist that if I didn't dress four-month-old Leo in a full Naruto outfit for his first official photos, I...
The Truth About Amber Necklaces and Safe Baby Jewelry Options
I’m standing in this dimly lit, incense-heavy boutique in Brooklyn back in 2018, wearing yoga pants that have an unidentified crusty stain on the knee. Maya is six months old, she's screaming at a pitch that I’m pretty sure is...
Why The Baby Highland Cow Trend Completely Took Over My Life
There's a piece of dried pampas grass currently jabbing me in the left nostril as I bend over to pick up a discarded sock, and I've just realized I'm staring directly into the soulful, watercolor eyes of a shaggy Scottish...
The Medical Reality of Buying Baby Headphones: A Nurse's Guide
We were sitting in row fourteen at my cousin's sangeet in Schaumburg when the bass from the dhol vibrated through the floorboards and straight up into my sternum. My daughter was barely three months old. I had my hands clamped...
Debugging the Holiday Magic: Our First Baby Elf Setup
"Put it on the mantle so he knows Santa is watching," my mother told me on Thanksgiving, handing me a felt doll with suspicious eyes and unnaturally long limbs. "Don't bring that surveillance state psychological warfare into your home," my...
The Panicked Dad's Guide to Buying Tiny Metal Ear Ornaments
The 19-year-old holding what looked like a neon pink staple gun was snapping her chewing gum with rhythmic, terrifying precision. I stood perfectly still on the sticky floor of the high street accessory shop, gripping the handle of the double...