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The Hospital Wi-Fi Stalled Our Magic Baby Names
The fluorescent light in room 412 of Providence Hospital had this specific 60-hertz hum that was drilling directly into my sleep-deprived prefrontal cortex. I had a lukewarm, terrible cafeteria coffee in one hand and a state-mandated birth certificate form in...
The Brutal Truth About the Infantino Baby Carrier (My Meltdown)
I was standing in the Target parking lot at 2 PM on a sweltering Tuesday, wearing maternity leggings with a crusty mystery stain on the left knee, desperately trying to click a piece of stiff plastic into another piece of...
What to Pack in Hospital Bag for Baby: A Dad's Bug Report
I had one knee pressed firmly into the top of a 60-liter duffel bag in the back of our Subaru, trying to force the zipper shut while Portland rain soaked through my hoodie. My wife, currently 36 weeks pregnant, was...
The Search for the Best Humidifier for Baby (Without the Mold)
My mother-in-law handed me a vintage 1990s vaporizer and told me to boil eucalyptus oil in the nursery. Three hours later, the guy at Home Depot practically cornered me in the plumbing aisle to explain why ultrasonic machines are the...
Why the Zoe Baby Stroller Destroyed My Double Buggy Myths
I was wedged firmly in the doorway of a rather nice independent coffee shop in Soho, sweating profusely through a supposedly breathable linen shirt, while a queue of deeply unamused Londoners judged me. I was pushing a twin pram that...
The Truth About the Baby Reindeer Cast Before You Hit Search
I was elbow-deep in a pile of clean laundry that had been sitting on the armchair for four solid days, casually typing "baby reindeer" into my phone with one thumb. I was just trying to find a matching woodland holiday...
The Blunt, Honest Truth About Feeding Baby Puffs To Your Kids
I was cleaning out my minivan last Tuesday—a task I only do when the smell of sour milk becomes physically unbearable—and I found it. Cemented to the floorboard beneath the car seat, practically fossilized into the upholstery, was a single,...
Why the baby pink hex code is a total scam for your nursery
I was standing in the middle of the paint aisle at a home improvement store, thirty-eight weeks pregnant and sweating through my maternity leggings. I held forty-two different swatch cards that all claimed to be the definitive pastel blush. My...
Otaku Parenting and the Messy Reality of Cute Anime Baby Trends
My sister-in-law cornered me at a family barbecue, holding a dripping hot dog that was dangerously close to my sweater, to insist that if I didn't dress four-month-old Leo in a full Naruto outfit for his first official photos, I...