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Why I'm Searching For The 'I Had A Baby Without You Full Movie' At 3AM
It's 3:14 AM. The flat smells faintly of lavender baby lotion, stale coffee, and the specific brand of despair that only sets in when you've been awake since Tuesday. Twin A is currently using my left clavicle as a teething...
My Guide to Every Type of Gap Baby You Will Actually Encounter
I was sitting on the sticky linoleum floor of the Woodfield Mall family restroom when the reality of my life choices hit me. My toddler was screaming at a decibel level that usually triggers a code blue on a pediatric...
Why searching for the cast of baby reindeer will ruin your evening
It was 5:17 AM on a Tuesday, an hour that shouldn't legally exist, and my living room looked like a crime scene involving a half-eaten box of oat biscuits and an aggressively smeared syringe of sticky, strawberry-flavoured Calpol. Florence, the...
Surviving The Boss Baby 2: A Parent's Deeply Unqualified Guide
Before we hit play on a Saturday afternoon, I received three entirely distinct pieces of advice about this film. My sister-in-law, who curates her childrenβs wooden toy collection by color, warned me it was corporate propaganda designed to rot the...
Finding The Right Baby Carrier Without Losing Your Mind
I'm standing next to our ridiculously tiny baby car in the pouring rain in a grocery store parking lot, crying over a twenty-foot piece of stretchy bamboo fabric. Leo is exactly four weeks old, screaming from the depths of his...
The Absolute Truth About Dosing Baby Fever Medicine at 3 AM
I used to think that if Maya was six months old, she just automatically got the "six-month" squirt of medicine. Like it was a shoe size or a milestone. I vividly remember standing in our tiny galley kitchen in our...
How I Abandoned Indie Music to Become a Human Jukebox for Twins
Somewhere around the eighty-fourth consecutive rendition of The Wheels on the Bus, you experience a big sort of ego death. I was standing in the kitchen at 6am, wearing a t-shirt entirely crusted in dried porridge, aggressively miming the swish-swish-swish...
Surviving the Modern Baby Shower: Themes, Rules, and Absurdities
My mother-in-law insisted we needed a hired tea service with crustless cucumber sandwiches, my mate Paul told me to just book the back room at The Crown and put some crisps in a bowl, and an American lifestyle blog I...
The Chaotic Truth About Finding Brilliant Baby Shower Dresses
Dear Tom of six months prior to the twins' arrival. You're currently standing outside the changing rooms at a high-street maternity shop, holding a lukewarm flat white, waiting for Sarah to emerge. You've been here for forty-five minutes. You think...