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Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and youβre standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. Youβre currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...
A Letter to Myself About Those Aesthetic Silicone Teething Toys
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the gross, unfinished plywood floor of the attic. You're wearing that oversized grey college sweatshirt with the mysterious mustard stain on the left cuff, sweating profusely because it's...
Surviving the Floppy Head Phase With a Wrap-Style Baby Outfit
I'm sweating entirely through my gray t-shirt in Room 402 of Legacy Emanuel hospital. My daughter is exactly 36 hours old, and I'm holding a piece of yellow cotton with a neck hole that looks roughly the size of a...
The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies
There was poop in Leoβs ear. I donβt mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...
Why I Have a Love Hate Relationship With Newborn Tights With Feet
Sitting in the back pew of First Baptist, sweating completely through my holiday sweater while my three-month-old oldest, Tucker (who's basically the reason I've gray hair at thirty-one), screamed his head off during Silent Night. Why? Because it was a...
The 3 AM Blowout That Made Me Respect the Newborn White Onesie
It was 3:14 AM. November. I know this because my phone flashlight was blinding me and the digital clock on the microwave was blinking in the background while I stood in the kitchen wearing a fleece Target robe from like,...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Safe Non Toxic Teethers Today
Your mother-in-law is convinced the baby's 102-degree fever and explosive blowout are just teething signs. I've seen a thousand of these exact cases roll through the pediatric triage desk, usually accompanied by a panicked parent holding a drool-soaked infant at...
The truth about tree sap teethers and your baby's weird fevers
I was staring at a thermometer flashing 102.4 in red, convinced my daughter's bottom lateral incisor was trying to kill her. My mother-in-law had already called twice to tell me it was just teething and I should rub a little...
How a Simple Penguin Blanket Saved My Sanity and My Marriage
It was 2:14 AM and I was literally hovering over the Motorola baby monitor, zooming in on my oldest son's pixelated chest to make sure it was still rising and falling. The thermostat in our drafty Texas farmhouse said 62...