Magazine

A sleep-deprived dad holding a teething panda toy while staring blankly

Tommy Richman, 3AM Teething, and the Death of My Dignity

It was 3:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time that doesn't actually exist outside of the newborn bubble or the queue for a dreadful kebab in your early twenties. I was standing in the kitchen in a pair of stained...

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A tired father holding a wooden play gym while a toddler stares at a smartphone screen

Uncle Baby Billy: How my toddler found HBO at 3am

It's precisely 3:14 in the morning, a time I'm intimately familiar with because it's the exact hour the ambient temperature in our London flat drops just enough to offend my twin daughters. Florence is currently wedged sideways across my chest,...

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A tired dad scrolling on his phone while twin girls play on the floor

Why The Uncle Richard Is My Baby Daddy Drama Actually Helps

It's 3:14 in the morning. One of the twins has inexplicably managed to lodge a rogue, rock-hard piece of toast behind the nursery radiator, and the other is performing a prolonged, operatic wail because our profoundly indifferent tabby cat looked...

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Exhausted dad in a London registry office holding twins wrapped in blankets

The Agony of Choosing Unique Baby Girl Names at the Registry

The pen was hovering over the official birth registration form, my hand physically shaking, and not just because I was running on four minutes of broken sleep and half a stale Hobnob. We were sitting in the fluorescent purgatory of...

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A tired dad holding a wooden buffalo next to some Hundred Acre Wood decorations

The Accidental Winnie the Pooh Baby Shower Guide for Anxious Dads

Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo. I know this because I'm you, and I remember the exact texture of the bathmat you're presently sitting on while trying to escape the chaos of your...

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A rather suspicious-looking baby inspecting a cooked baby bella mushroom

Why Baby Bellas Are Just Portobellos in Denial (And Perfect for Bab...

I was standing in the vegetable aisle at Sainsbury’s, a twin balanced on each hip, desperately trying to distinguish between a punnet of white mushrooms, baby bellas, and portobellos. That's when I learned the great agricultural lie of our generation:...

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Exhausted dad kneeling beside a bathtub holding a wet baby wrapped in a towel

Surviving Twin Bath Time And The Suction Cup Seat Illusion

Before I had even figured out how to turn on the taps in a way that wouldn’t instantly scold or freeze my daughters, I was already fielding contradictory instructions from everyone I knew about how to wash them. My mother-in-law...

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A brightly coloured plastic infant mixing deck in the middle of a messy London living room.

Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Baby DJ Table for the Twins

It's 5:42 AM. Rain is hammering against the single-glazed window of our London flat, and Maya has just discovered the 'drop' button. Chloe, entirely unfazed by the sudden burst of electronic reggaeton, is rhythmically gumming the edge of the plastic...

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Tired British dad sitting on a beige rug surrounded by his twin toddler girls and toys

A Letter To Myself About Raising My Down Syndrome Baby And Her Twin

Dear Tom from six months ago, put down the NHS developmental milestone leaflet before you give yourself a stress-induced ulcer. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug, mainlining cold coffee, watching Millie try to scale the bookshelf while Daisy...

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