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Why Most "Educational" Toys Are Just Overpriced Plastic
I'm currently staring down a plastic monstrosity that speaks three languages, flashes like a discount Vegas casino, and cost my mother-in-law forty-five dollars. It has a giant sticker on the box screaming that it'll teach my baby geometry, and let...
Keeping your real newborn alive during the plastic toy craze
My mother-in-law told me to rub mustard oil in the baby's ears to prevent winter infections. My old charge nurse swore I had to wake him every two hours on the dot or his blood sugar would tank. The barista...
The Truth About The Most Expensive Beanie Babies
I'm sitting on the concrete floor of my parents' garage in the Chicago suburbs, sneezing thirty years of dust out of my nose. In front of me is a massive plastic storage bin labeled with my name and the phrase...
Is Rosemary Safe for Babies? A Mom's Honest Story
I was staring at a twenty-four dollar bottle of "all-natural botanical" baby massage oil in my kitchen trash can at two in the morning while my oldest son, Beau, screamed bloody murder in the other room. His tiny back was...
Note to Self About That Backyard Bunny Incident We Barely Survived
Dear Priya from last April. You're currently standing frozen in the damp Chicago grass, holding a weed whacker in one hand and a half-eaten string cheese in the other. Your toddler is strapped to your back in the ergonomic carrier,...
The terrifying truth about the viral baby fuggler TikTok trend
It was exactly 6:13 in the morning and I was wearing yesterday's yoga pants with an unidentified yogurt stain on the knee when my seven-year-old, Maya, shoved her sticky iPad approximately half an inch from my face. I hadn't even...
The ugly truth about buying your toddler a baby doll stroller
There was a tiny pool of blood on my hardwood floor. Not a catastrophic amount, just enough to make my old hospital triage instincts override my standard maternal panic. Maya was on her back, screaming, holding a split lip. Tangled...
When The Grandparents Bring Over Their 1980s Death Trap Baby Gear
I was wearing my husbandβs stained grey sweatpants, the ones with the mysterious hole near the left knee, standing in my driveway at 10 AM on a Tuesday while clutching a mug of coffee I had already microwaved three times....
Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. Itβs, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...